Struggling with myself

I’m someone who’s struggle with addiction for years and last night I unfortunately gave into the idealization that I could drink like a normal person next thing I know I am waking up in my car wedged between two other cars and am facing some form of repercussion. Not sure what yet I am worried but willing to accept the fact I made a massive mistake and thank God that nobody was injured. I don’t have many people I can talk to about these things I struggle with at least many people that have been very helpful. I’m just very lost and so ungodly upset with myself that I even let this happen and I guess I’m looking for a friend of some sort or maybe just someone to talk to really. I’ve never gotten in trouble due to my addiction and I’m struggling to be okay enough to function really. Sorry if my wording of the situation isn’t that great my mind just isn’t really working at all currently.

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I’m here to be your friend, that’s why I’m called Pengyou :yellow_heart:

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Welcome! I’m sure you’d rather it be under better circumstances, but it’s good that you’re here. My son’s friend recently got in an accident while he was drinking. His vehicle was totaled, but it was a mixed blessing, because he owed about $3000 more than it was worth, And the insurance had to pay it off. It was his first offense ever, and he’s in his 40s. The court said that he would have to have a breathalyzer attached to his next vehicle, but he decided not to purchase another one. Because my son was his roommate, and the court was worried that he might drive my sons car, the court required The breathalyzer to be installed in his car.

It had to be in his car for a year. Fortunately, it’s gone now.

You are far from alone when it comes to having addictive tendencies. I do as well as my son. I’ve managed to remain free of substance or alcohol use, but my son has yet to tackle the issue. If possible, join a support group, at least for a while. You have learned a bit more about yourself, therefore you are a changed person. I understand being upset or frustrated with yourself, but keep in mind, you are not the same person who messed up so badly. Despite that, guilt and self recrimination may persist for a while. However, if you persist in shaming yourself, you will damage your confidence in your ability to change for the better.

It took me a while to learn that. If you feel guilty and like crap, your resolve to change is very likely to have a crappy outcome. Just remember, you are not a bad person, and you have no deficiency of willpower, even though you’re dealing with addictive tendencies. Don’t convince yourself that you are fighting your addictions, as doing so suggests to your subconscious that those addictions have more power than they actually do. Instead, simply turn away from them, with knowledge that even the physical cravings involved diminish greatly in just a few days.

I have never understood the existence of bars. Most people who go to bars drink in them, then drive away, and almost invariably, at least a little bit impaired. If you are not home, and you drink, plan on staying put, or find some other method than driving to get where you want to go. That’s what my sons friend is doing, and so far it’s working out well.

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