Struggling with recovery

I’ve been clean from self harm and purging for a year and five months. Most people would think since I’m a year clean everything is fine and all has been fixed. That’s not how recovery works at all no matter what you do you will always have bad days but what is different about recovery compared to just when you were not wanting or capable of getting better is that you know how to make it better and you see things differently. But that doesn’t change the fact that I will forever have depression and anxiety I will most likely always have thoughts and urges of self harm. BUT that doesn’t mean I have to let it control my days and rule what i do and don’t do. But getting back to the point I’m stilll struggling and it’s hitting me harder then ever but with the joy and happiness I have felt it makes being clean for another hour or another day or another month so worth it don’t give up and don’t think relapse is a terrible thing it happens people fuck up I’ve fucked up a lot but I’ve learned. Just because you relapse doesn’t mean that everything you have achieved is erased.

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I’m so proud of you for being clean for a year. I too have had my battles with self harm due to anxiety and depression. You are absolutely right, everybody fucks up. It’s all about how you bounce back after you fuck up. I hope that you can continue to be clean of self harm. I would recommend finding positive activities that you can do to manage your anxiety and depression. For some people it’s exercise for others it could be a musical instrument. Find whatever works for you. Keep up the great work and I wish you all the best.

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Thank you for sharing this. Well don’t on the year. I’m a self harmer and addict and haven’t made it past 2 months max. Keep fighting. This was lovely to read. We believe in you.

Hold fast
Kayla

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Thank you! I believe in you just. Keep on working you will get there all that matters is that your here now your alive and trying
:revolving_hearts:
You got this

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Hey @Superpiggy!
Dude you nailed it. Like the fact that you are honest with your recovery and struggles is the best place to be. I’m so glad you said:

That’s spot on and something I too, have to remind myself of daily.

Keep fighting friend.

Hold Fast,
-SJ

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Thanks! I honestly don’t they their are any failures in recovery just mistakes but mistakes can be reflected on and learned from we aren’t broken for mistakes we’re human like everyone else

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Hey @Superpiggy,

Congratulations on being clean for so long!! You should definitely be proud of yourself and don’t overlook that victory!

Yes, we all are all human and we all mess up. Staying clean is a life-long journey. Sometimes people relapse (Demi Lovato :disappointed_relieved:), but that doesn’t devalue them as a person. You’re strong and we believe in you! Please keep us updated, and always feel free to reach back out if you’re having a bad day. We’re here for you and we want to see you continue to beat this!

-Eric

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