Hey! I just wanted to say a quick thank you. I’m struggling with severe depression and avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), which if you’re unfamiliar with it, can be fastest/easiest explained as a severe form of social anxiety. It’s honestly incredibly difficult to even post something haha. I’ve watched your youtube for a quite a long time, and a while ago started watching on twitch whenever possible. Especially after difficult days, it’s great to be able to watch you and have some laughs. Also, because of my AvPD, I often feel very lonely. Just lurking in the chat somehow helps to make me feel a little less alone <3
I especially/specifically want to thank you for your kindness. I honestly feel worthless, have a lot of self hatred and shame etc, but somehow I believe you when you say ‘you matter’. Even if I (in my core) don’t think I do, I can tell that you are sincere, and that makes me feel just a little bit better about myself. That really means a lot to me.
If this is shared, I want to wish everyone watching happy holidays. This season can be really tough, hopefully we can get through it together.
Thank you & lots of love,
(Please forgive bad grammar etc, English is not my first language)
this is such a lovely, wonderful wholesome post!
Thank you for your bravery and courage in posting it, you did excellent! Lovely to meet you
You DO matter and you ARE so very important! Thank you so much for reaching out and also having such kind words!
It really means alot when you can be apart of a community of people who do honestly care. What ever has happened in your life to make you feel worthless I really hope you can work through that and truly understand how precious and valuable you really are! You are worth so much to the universe! I hope you have the happiest of holidays!
Hi @Truffelsuus It must be extremely difficult living with AvPD and severe depression. I have similar challenges and feelings of being alone, self hatred and shame can be so hard to have to cope with. It’s exhausting most of the time. Thank you for posting what’s on your heart and know that you do matter and you are loved. ~Mystrose
Hi Suus and welcome to the forum!
I am very glad to see you post, it can take a lot of courage to do so. We are always here to help you and you have no reason to feel ashamed. Feel free to post anything on this wall, we don’t judge!
You Matter ~SuchBlue
I am glad that you are here and posted. Please remember that you are loved and cared for. <3 Zeph
Hey Friend, Thank you do much for your post, I am so very sorry that you are struggling with depression and anxiety and if this was hard for you to do then I am so proud of you for combating your anxiety and doing it. It really saddens me that you feel worthless because you really are not, please let me tell you that you are a beautiful human being and I know this because I have been in a similar place to where you are now and have come a way past it and have had the joy of meeting some amazing people here and in Kits chat and I truly believe there is not a bad one there and you are one of those. not only are you that but as kit says you are valuable and you matter, these are not just words they are facts and another fact is that you came on here through your anxiety and wished other people happy holidays, only a wonderful person would do that. Now I want to do that for you. Have a Happy Christmas friend. Much Love Lisa x
Hey @TruffeIsuus, well done for sharing your heart here with us. Really. As a very socially anxious bean myself, I can tell that my first posts on the Wall were absolutely frightening. I would post, then disconnect, focus on something else as much as possible and only check on responses days after!
Depression, social anxiety, AvPD - all of these can really affect us so much to the point of internalizing that what’s inside of us is not worthy of attention, time, or love. Which is not true. Somehow you know that, but it surely takes time to really feel it. It’s already so very important that you embrace Kit’s words of encouragement, and feel lifted up by his content as well. You do matter, really. There is nothing in who you are that is to be ashamed of. On the contrary, it can sometimes be opportunities to connect with others differently, to relate to how they feel, and have more meaningful relationships than with others. I am so very grateful for you today, for your bravery, your vulnerability, your authenticity. Thank you for gifting us with your presence. I hope this community here could also be a real place for you to feel safe. It has been for me, especially during times of acute vulnerability. If you’d like, feel free to join us during live streaming sometimes on Twitch. No need to interact on the chat - lurking is absolutely fine! It can simply give other opportunities to feel less alone, and maybe take some small steps for yourself, in a safe environment. You are loved.
PS: just the video of a scene from my favorite movie, one that marked me a lot in terms of learning that we matter. Hope it warms your heart and encourages you as well. Dead Poets Society - Students' Poetry Scene - YouTube
Sorry it took a while to reply, it was kinda overwhelming In a good way though! Thanks everybody for the kind messages, it means a lot to me <3
It’s okay @Truffelsuus. You are absolutely free to respond when you can and how you can. Or not at all, even. Just know we are here, you can rely on this community whenever you need, and we genuinely care about you.
You are loved.
Thank you for having the courage to post something. I am glad you mentioned and described AvPD. By sharing your situation it helps me understand and knowledge feels powerful. So, you really do matter to us here, and I am sincere when I thank you for your contribution as this has affected me in a positive way. Thank you.
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