I avoid life in general. I try to acknowledge the baby steps I’ve successfully taken in order to feel better, but they all seem way too small.
What successful steps have you taken? Maybe I can help blow them up for you?
Even baby steps amount to something. It may feel like it was small and you haven’t done enough, but when you look back from where you were there’s a bigger picture! Do you feel like you’re ready to do bugger goals or a few more goals at a time or are you just feeling a bit stuck in a rut?
Completely stuck. It’s like I’m moving forward with some of the more manageable goals but everything else seems way too far out of reach. For example, I want to finish a painting that I’ve been working on for several weeks, but it’s taking ages to finish small areas because I keep redoing the parts that I don’t like or I can’t think of what to do next.
I’m trying to put into words the baby steps I’ve taken, but it’s tough to even categorize them as steps when I feel like they should just be normal progress. Does that make sense? Like brushing my teeth, feeding the cat, finding my sandals, turning off the porch light in the morning, etc. Perhaps I’m only considering them as baby steps because I’m more aware of the things I accomplish during the day? Idk.
That definitely makes sense, sometimes like you said with the painting things can come to a stop or we can repeat over the same things. Do you feel with your painting that you have an idea of what you want to do with the rest of it? Would it help putting in more of it and then going back over with more detail?
Honestly I also take things step by step like this. Work and life can be so busy and it can be so hard to be motivated or know where to start at home and with tasks that most people do on automatic mode. It’s probably really good self care that you take the time to remind yourself to do these steps.
Do you think it would be helpful for you to take a break from the things you usually do and do something to help refresh and relax yourself?
I have a very general idea as to what I want it to look like, and I’ve filled in most of the larger areas. Right now it’s mainly detail work. But I’m finding that I’m second guessing myself or frustrated with my progress at the end of the day.
I’ve been struggling with overwhelming feelings of laziness because I avoid so much “real life” stuff. Which makes the concept of relaxing feel like a joke. Its like I’m constantly relaxing. I paint, read, garden, watch movies/tv, cook, etc. but I avoid everything outside of that bubble.
It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind that you’re finding hard to deal with? That sometimes makes doing the usual tasks hard to focus on and it sometimes takes the energy and concentration out of the things we usually enjoy. Does that maybe sound like what’s going on?
I don’t think you need to be so hard on yourself in any case.
Is there anyone you trust talking about the real stuff with? You can always share in a post too if you feel comfortable enough. Not pressuring at all though. Sometimes it can ease the burden of trying to figure out how to deal with it all on your own.
You’re correct in that there’s probably so much on my mind that as a coping mechanism I think I’m keeping myself from thinking about it. I have my therapist, but I’m on a small hiatus. I’ve seen him nearly every week for a year but I needed a break. I appreciate your messages and this forum, thank you
I hope you feel things improving for you! And I also hope you feel comfortable sharing your burdens again whether it’s with your therapist or a friend. Hopefully it’ll ease some of that for you.
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