The past week and a half has not been the best. My grandmother has been put back in the ER due to a sickness she got from her pneumonia antibiotic. I was very worried at first because I woke up to my mom crying, apparently my grandma had been puking and could barely move the previous night. She has 5-6 spots on her good lung- she had half of her other one removed due to cancer- and the lacerations on it are strikingly similar to the ones that were cancerous on her other lung.
I’m glad that the issues she had were not directly related to her cancer; I had a slight fear that this was her end so soon. But I believe she will be okay for now.
I’ve been really depressed. Not having a job is really getting to me; I have an interview today and tomorrow which is good, I just hope it works out. It’s just bringing on a feeling of being a burden to my parents and feeling as though I have no purpose anymore. I can barely bring myself to work on music or art. I try but I get nowhere.
My anxiety has been bad; all the loud noises in my house get to me and I can feel a constant state of fear in my body and bones and it’s making me so tired. It’s understandable for me to be tired since my body is constantly fighting against the anxiety and depression, but at this point I can barely make myself get out of bed or get up and be active.