Stuck in my own head and in this town

i feel like absolute shit. i’ve been job searching for over a year and finally i get hired. unfortunately, this job was just as desperate as i was and the company is awful. i was made to feel like shit today over something that i didn’t even say? but i was too scared to correct my boss :, ) nursing homes are depressing in itself and my depressive ass gets sad in an instant. some residents and some of my coworkers are really fucking rude and i’ve almost cried and passed out over anxiety and feeling bad multiple times. i want to move in with my boyfriend to get away from it all, but i have two pets and he hates animals living in his house and he’s allergic to one of my pets anyway. i just can’t stand living at home, it’s so uncomfortable and tense here. i thought things were going to get better, but my progress is so slow and i’m only going to be working two days a week so getting money will be even harder now. i can’t help but think about just killing myself rather than living through this. i can’t handle anything and i’m too sensitive for everything. i don’t think i can do this. i’ve been stuck like this for years now and i think i’m just done.

Even with slow progress. It is still progress. No one heals the same. Be so proud that you continue to make even just the slightest progress. It’s hard and will continue to be. But, I am proud of you and your strength to keep going! Keep it up! We are rooting for you! Dealing with anxiety is so hard to put up with and deal with. But, we know you can do it.

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