I’m here because I want to be free from people knowing me and saying “of course we like you”. I just want to scream and tell everyone to stop playing pretend.
I’m sick of being me. I hate myself. I annoy myself and I’m stuck within myself. For someone who hates themselves so much, somehow I am so self focused. Just read this stupid post.
I am annoying and frustrating. I’m moody and unpleasant.
Snoopy the beagle is starting to sound like a real son of a bitch.
Get help- yes I know. Talk to someone- yes I know.
Do the right things, be a better person. It doesn’t change that I’m still stuck with this shit human I’ve created. It makes me want to die, but then that would be another thing people would hold over me. Ahhh pathetic.
Welcome to the forum. We’re glad to have you here.
I understand how easy it is to turn our negative emotions into self-hatred and also recognize that simply saying “Oh but others are telling the truth and you should believe that you are amazing” is unlikely to make you feel much better (even though the statement is true). When there’s so much frustration, exhaustion, and pain, it’s hard to find anything good about ourselves!
I simply want to say that we’re here for you. We hear your pain. We understand that you’re in such a tough spot.
Thank you for having the courage to share with us. I hope you’ll continue to post if anything is on your mind or if you’d like to elaborate on anything going on in your life.
Hey Snoopy, it sounds like you already know your next steps, etc. Self-loathing is a real bitch, and holding a negative self-image saps a lot of the energy required to even start getting help to begin with. I hope you are able to muster the necessary internal resources to start working on finding the right help. Until then, scream into a pillow and know you’re not alone.
hello and welcome, firstly love the name, beagles are the best! I know those feelings as well. I sit with them and questions myself and my place in the lives of people around me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that people do have a choice to have you in their life.
I hope for this coming weekend you can have some time to be with people who bring you that genuine joy and love. And if anything else that the responses here will lead you to feeling hope and love. We have a lot of it to give!
take a moment to give yourself some care, whether it’s going for a walk or enjoying a book. Get lost in something light and enjoyable just for yourself. Feel free to come and share how you’re going x
hey Snoopy,
welcome to Heart Support and thank you for sharing.
for someone who hates himself, you do pretty good i would say. i hate myself too, too often and so many times
i struggle and tremble over myself. annoying and frustrating ? yes it is. lately my depression is hitting me back with
a vengeance. it is hard when everyone is telling you, do that, get help, do maybe that or try that and you are just
want not to hear anything like that. when everything, everyone around yourself is trying to put that stamp on you.
we only wish to disappear. isolating in our own world. walls build to protect ourselves led to more and more struggle.
but in the end, what we can do is always try.
i think that life is all about trying. trying to find that spark of joy that gets us through our day. to find it, its hard. to find
what is good for you, is hard. every day, every hour. to find something good in ourselves is even harder some times,
but also when you treat others like you want to be treated, give out a little moment, a little act of kindness to anyone
out there. that can make your day too. that can give you a boost. does it cost something ? maybe a smile or a nice
word, greeting someone. give yourself some care. do something you enjoy.
find a little safe place for yourself.
you will do great, i am sure. give yourself some time. come back here anytime. you are loved and you matter
I totally understand being trapped with self loathing thoughts, especially when you’ve been through so much in your life to bring on those negative pictures of you. I want to challenge you to possibly start looking into positive affirmations and see which ones you think would fit for you:
Start writing/jotting down ones that you think can fit for you, and start repeating them every day to yourself. One thing my therapist did for me was make a list out of the alphabet, and every letter you write something positive about yourself: ie: A-Artistic, B-Beautiful, C-Caring, D-Dearing, etc. if you want to take it slow, if you did one letter a day, you’d finish February with a list of 26 things that you make you great. I hope both of these things can help give you insight, and I’d be willing to help you come up with that list if you’d like.
Thank you for sharing with us today @SnoopyTheBeagle , I hope we hear from you soon.
There’s some glaring dissonance here. If you were as bad as you think you are, you’d be indifferent about it. You would not see your flaws, as you’d have no interest in acknowledging them.
If you shot yourself in the foot, the pain would persist for a long while, and you’d add to the pain by shaming yourself for having shot your foot. The way you’re treating yourself is the emotional equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot.
Another bit of dissonance is the idea that those around you are pretending to like you. If you were as bad as you seem to think you are, why would they bother to pretend in such a way? Do you really believe everyone around you is wrong when they see goodness in you?
The problem with low self-esteem is that the subconscious triggers behaviors to reinforce and provide evidence of reasons to dislike ones self. In other words, a person ends up habitually shooting themselves (emotionally) in the foot.
If you keep pissing yourself off, what do you expect?
You don’t deserve to be treated the way you’re treating yourself! Stop it!
There’s a line in a famous poem, “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” It’s really hard to be empathetic, nurturing and compassionate toward others while thinking poorly of self. That’s in part because without self-value, one can’t imagine that their time and focus towards another has value. Take a bit of time to remember when you’ve helped others feel better. That’s evidence that you do have value.
BTW, welcome to the forum. We’re glad you’re here. The stuff I’ve told you above relate to lessons I’ve had to figure out for myself. Hopefully it’ll take you less time to understand than it took me.
