Suicidal and selfish that’s me

You know it’s been quite some time since I’ve had these thoughts to this extent. I guess the last time would have been when I was standing on the bridge that night.

I really don’t know what brought it on, it was kind of out of nowhere.

Am I selfish for being suicidal even though I’m pregnant?

Think of all the women that would love to be pregnant that can’t be right?

I get it, but that doesn’t change the way I feel

Idk why I’m posting this.

I’m sorry

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Being pregnant can cause unpredictable extremes of mood. In addition, facing the responsibility of having a child can be daunting. It’s important to consider that what you are feeling is affected by changes in your body chemistry, and quite possibly also related to concerns about caring for the baby.

Talk to your doctor about your emotional state. Ask for a therapy referral. You don’t need to continue feeling this way. Help is available.

Please stay in touch, so we know how you’re doing. Wings

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Talking to your doctor as @Wings suggested is something you should really consider. A lot of women experience depression while pregnant and some suicidal ideation.

Think about hormonal shots that are given to people undergoing MtF gender transition. Oestrogen shots can cause mood swings, depression, suicidal ideation and symptoms like extreme crying that can persist for about 30 days.

Now imagine what can happen to a pregnant person who’s experiencing high levels of oestrogen and other hormones consistently over 9+ months. You’re gonna have big highs and big lows and it’s normal. If you talk to your doctor and do some research on what is happening to your body right now, it might make things more clear and less scary. :hrtlegolove:

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From: ManekiNeko

hey I’m so sorry you’re having these strong emotions and thoughts. Everyone gets told how they’re meant to glow and be so happy, but they don’t tell women how their hormones change and that sometimes the change is not always positive. You’re not selfish, and I think more women should be able to feel safe to talk about this.
there’s a stigma around perinatal depression. I’ve seen it affect so many people growing up and it was always hushed away and I wonder why the hell it is!
have you spoken to your gp about what’s going on? Be gentle on yourself, you’re not alone in your feelings. But please make sure you check in with your doctor

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From: twixremix

hi monkey,

you’re not selfish for having these thoughts, monkey. if any of us could control it and not think of suicide, i know most would avoid those thoughts. i love the point wings brought up about how this change in your body chemistry can fluctuate your mental health. your OBGYN, primary care, and/or therapist are there for you through this and will have helpful advice in this regard.

aside from the medical side of it, i want to reiterate that you aren’t selfish. i want to emphasize to you that you are loved and supported - you’re far from alone in this journey! please keep us posted on how you’re doing or anything you need to talk through. sometimes typing out what’s on our mind brings so much relief. sending you and the baby so much love and comfort, monkey.

love,
twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey, Monkey, you are not selfish at all. The decision to even want to bring new life into the world is as unseflish as you can be. And the emotions you are feeling are valid not just because life and pregnancy can be difficult but also because as Wings and Mystrose have said, pregnancy really messes with your hormones and your mental state. I agree that you should talk to your doctors about how you are feeling so that they can help you through this. You are a good person and you will be a great parent.

Please never apologise for sharing here. We always want to hear from you :hrtlegolove:

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Hey Monkey,

You are not selfish. You are human.

Depression hits anyone. Doesn’t matter age, sex, gender, creed, race, or pizza topping preference. Depression doesn’t care, it will affect you.

Being pregnant potentially works against you, as Perinatal Depression is a thing. Your body is/has/will continue to go through changes, which include hormone and brain chemistry changes. But even aside from that, you being pregnant doesn’t change how your thoughts effect you. It’s not selfish. It’s human.

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