My brain won’t stop pounding. I’m finally crying now because there is no one to see my cry. I don’t have to explain myself while crying when its just me.
I have never felt this much pain and it could never get worse but then it does and now I’ve lost all hope, my will to live, anything left I had in me is destroyed.
Even my brother says I’m stupid and that I make everybody upset.
I really want to do something even more dangerous to myself.
And I don’t want to go back to the psych ward just to be treated like a prisoner again.
I just want peace
I can’t breathe and my brain feels like its gonna pop
I can’t believe I’m this horrible
You are not stupid and I can assure you that, right here, you are not upsetting anyone. Although you need and deserve to get the appropriate help while you are navigating these suicidal thoughts. Please reach out to a crisis line as people in these services can help you find some relief at the moment:
These thoughts are present and are obviously very intense. I promise you there is more than this to this life. This pain, these thoughts, are not an emotional place that you are meant to be stuck in. Give yourself time, breathe, cry, but stay safe, friend. You will make it through this storm.
