I have begged for help my entire life. 33 years of complete and total hell. I am currently homeless with nothing and no one and can’t take the pain anymore. I have done what I can, but I am human and don’t have an unlimited supply of physical and mental strength. I don’t want to die, but I don’t see any other option. I have lost the ability to deal with things and I have no one to help me. I’ve attempted suicide before and still no one helps me. What’s left to do?? I can’t do this on my own and can’t get anyone to help me.
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Hi, friend. That sounds very hard. Suicide should never have to be the answer. I know that sometimes life can feel so impossible and so difficult that it feels like the only option. But things can get better. I know sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone an do things that we may not want to in order to get to a better place, but there is light in the darkness.
Is there a shelter or somewhere you can go? Places you can apply to to help with income? Are you able to work at all? I know there are often food banks around that can offer small bits of help while you get on your feet.
I can only imagine how hard it must be to feel so empty handed. I’m sorry my friend. Maybe now is a good time to sit down and make a list of things you can do that could help you get on your feet? There has to be something, even if it isn’t exactly what you were hoping for. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t enjoy until we can get a footing.
There are a lot of people here who care my friend. I’m not sure all how I can help, but I care. I can’t resolve your struggles, but I can offer love and understanding. Ideas and suggestions.
Don’t give up friend. There has to be some way. Just have to write down your options and possibilities. Things you can do to help. And just set small goals that are reasonable and realistic to help achieve the bigger ones.
I’m sorry if this isnt very helpful. I sincerely hope that things get better for you. Much love
- Kitty
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Thank you Kitty for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I appreciate you caring! There are no options left. I’ve tried it all and can’t handle life anymore. The system has repeatedly screwed me over and caused me harm and I’m done with it all. I’m afraid all of the time, am completely alone, have begun having seizures and cry all of the time. Hopeless at this point. Either need a miracle or death. I have no idea why I posted on here. Things never change…
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You posted here because you are having a hard time, my friend. And probably could use a friend and some compassion. Yea? Life can be difficult sometimes. Throwing challenges at us that feel like we can’t overcome them. Sometimes it leaves us in a state of feeling helpless, hopeless and lonely, so we reach out in hope that someone will hear us. I know there have been many times where I just felt like there was no other resolve. I’ve been in the hospital multiples times, due to attempts on my life. I fell in a dark place and didn’t know what else to do. I felt broken and like a failure. I felt like a let down. I didn’t see purpose. But I came through it. Even if I still battle with these feelings I keep on fight.
My friend, you matter. You are important. Your life matters, even if it feels like it’s not in the best of places right now. Things can change. Sometimes it just takes looking in deeper places and like I said, stepping out of our comfort zones.
I certainly can understand and relate to the systems screwing people over and causing more harm. I am very sorry for that my friend.
But you have a person here willing to listen. Do you have a link to the Heart Support discord? I can send you a link if you don’t. There is an entire community of people who also have struggles that come together. We may not all be able to fix everything for each other but we can all be friends and support one another.
If you want to talk about what all is going on, I’m open to listening. No judgement. My DM is open to you. Maybe you can help me better understand your situation. If you are comfortable. Its there if you want.
- Kitty
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Thank you for your kind words and sharing some of your struggles. I am sorry you have had some dark times in your life and I am glad you are still here and continue to fight. I hope you are doing better. As much as I want and need support, it just makes things worse. It’s a constant flood of unsolicited advice, attempts to relate to something no one can understand, useless platitudes, invalidating my pain or making my pain about them. I appreciate those that care and try to offer support but tired of harmful help. I know that reaching out just makes things worse, but find myself so desperate for help and support that I end up doing so and end up even more frustrated. Thank you for trying and sending you love.
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Hey, you are not alone. We are here for you. Please, keep going! You are here for a reason. God created you with a purpose. Please, don’t give up! I want to share a video with you https://youtu.be/L33djEEMEE8 I really hope it will help you.
Well, I certainly don’t want to cause more harm my friend. Or make you feel like I’m under valuing your situation and feelings. I genuinely hope you find peace within yourself and way to keep on pushing. Your life is important even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
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Hey friend.
I hope you won’t find it inappropriate for me to say this, as our lives are just different such as our personal stories, but somehow I can relate to where you are right now. I’ve been homeless for almost a year when I was 16 (26 now), after I left my parents home. When I say homeless, I mean not having a roof over my head, which wasn’t a choice at all. I just had to left home quickly, no matter how life would be after that. To be honest, it’s not a moment of my life that I’m used to share about, as it brings up feelings I still haven’t deal with entirely.
I can tell that during this time, I felt a huge despair growing in my heart every single day. Not mentioning a constant fear/vulnerability I couldn’t handle. Not knowing how tomorrow would be was a daily struggle. At first, because I didn’t knew anyone there, I tried to sleep in shelters, which is particularly needed when you’re a girl. I hated that. I hated it even more from the day I was sexually assaulted there. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by sharing this… And please don’t be sorry for it. My point here is only that I had a bunch of reasons to run away from this dysfunctional system and not be willing to trust it anymore. I lost hope. And even though life hasn’t always been easy, this feeling of hopelesness was never more acute than at this moment. I thought suicide was the only option. I didn’t see the point of trying anymore. Felt like I already lost everything. But yet I’m out of this situation now. Just for the concrete part, at first I was able to work at two jobs at the same time, then starting to study, then finding a student room and so on. And if you’ve been there before all of this, telling me I could make it, I would just have laughed to you.
This vicious circle, as difficult as it is to be reversed, can be changed. Because my experience is not an exception. I’m not particularly smart, I’m not priviledged in any way and I can’t pretend to be lucky in general. But what I know is that I couldn’t have done this if I stopped to reach out to people and services in my area. There were people there that I litterally hated, who just made me feel even worse for my situation. They were the perfect products of what goes wrong in our societies. But I also met people, 2 in particular, who literally saved me because they actually listened to me, to what I was capable to do or not at the moment. They adapted their help to me and my realities, not the opposite.
I know it doesn’t solve anything but please don’t forget that you’re not alone nor invisible. Seriously. Your voice matters. Such as your life. It’s not because you’re in the situation you just described that it’s making you worthless or diminishing the importance that you have.
I don’t know which circumstances put you in this situation and for how long you’ve been living like this. And gosh I know it’s insanely hard to get out of it. It’s a long battle against a dysfunctional system but also, if not mostly, against a bunch of feelings that are preventing us to reach out and actually ask for help. I’m sorry you’ve been through such disappointments. Let’s be honest it’s really hard when you feel like you have objectively no one around you to talk with. And on the other side there are a bunch of professionals who are just stupid. But there are also people out there who might be able to help you. Not by making you as they want you to be, but to support you at your own pace, with respecting your own boundaries. There are people ready to cheat on the system and force it as much as possible to help you to get your head out of the water. It’s just not something that people will generally shout from the rooftops. And yes it’s not the majority. But it’s not a matter of miracles either.
So please, don’t let the ones who disappointed you prevent you to actually use your rights. You rights to actually live and find solutions to your essential needs, to meet those who might be able to help you in a more effective way.
I hear your exhaustion friend. And I just wish for you to not lose from your sight the perspective of pushing different doors if it’s needed. I also hope this reply won’t be harmful to you. Really, it’s not my intention at all. Just know that even if you may not have hope for yourself right now, we’ve got a bunch of it for you here.
Hang in there.
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