Tonight is most likely the night. Everything has gone to S. This is likely the end, I’ve suffered for way too long now. Well goodbye most likely
8 Likes
I feel for you so much Aces, there just aren’t the words to express it. I know you’ve been fighting this fight for far too long, I can’t blame you at all for wanting to give up. Please don’t. 
Even recently I’ve seen you getting some hopeful resources in the discord. There is so much more that can be done to help you, and you deserve it so much. Things can be helped, but not with you gone.
Please try to hold off, just for a bit longer. One day at a time. This spreadsheet contains a list of hotlines you can call. I’d really like you to try doing so, not later on but as soon as you possibly can. They can help you too.
I’ll be right here to talk more if you’d like. Tell me anything and everything that’s going through your mind, all that you want to share. I’d like that. I’ll be thinking of you. Hold on, friend.
4 Likes
Please Aces dont do this. I know you feel hurt and devastated. Like everybody rejects you but you are am amazing human being. I admire you. You are very strong. You have gone through injuries both physical and mental and you are still standing. You can get through this. Please Aces you are worth it. Hang in there my friend. Call a suicide hotline. They will help you. The can help. This is not the solution
4 Likes
Hi Aces,
You have too many good things in your life just to give it all up. Yes, you do have many obstacles but suicide will not overcome them, it will just get rid of them. You’ve already been through a lot and made it to where you are right now, so please don’t just end it here. Please, just don’t do it. Call a suicide helpline as soon as possible. It isn’t worth it for you to take the risk. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, and hold fast 
5 Likes
Aces, I care about you lots. It’s heartbreaking that you are in so much pain and have been for such a long time. There is a life available to you on this planet beyond the pain and the suffering. Beyond these awful experiences you had to go through. There are many people on this planet who are not like these terrible jerks you came across. You deserve to fight for yourself.
If you had a magic wand, what would your life look like if anything was possible?
I mean every single word I write to you. This also holds true for the post about your strengths. I can relate a lot to not seeing your own strengths, I can’t even think of one of my own right now. But what matters right now is that I see so many of them within you. I see your worth, your strength, your determination. It is there. Aces, I believe in you so very much. Sending you hugs and much love.
Stay with us.
4 Likes
Just a small add-on. Currently, I dedicate a lot of my time working through my pain. A painful childhood experience just crossed my mind along with the thought that as a child you cannot leave to escape the situation and end up feeling powerless and with overwhelming feelings of despair. With the futility comes the depression because, as a matter of fact, adults have significant power over children.
This changes in adulthood. While there will always be things we cannot control, it is possible to develop a sense of agency. You’re in the driver’s seat. You can set boundaries, make decisions that are aligned with your own values and that serve you and are beneficial to your mental health.
Maybe you haven’t experienced this so far so I thought I’d share this to give a different perspective.
Hugs and love to you. Let us know how your day’s going if you’re up to it. We’d love to hear from you.
5 Likes
Aces… don’t do it. It would hurt everyone you have met if they heard you committed suicide. It would hurt them in so many different ways. Just list the reasons why you think you should, and then list the reasons why people care about you. I care about you because I consider people I meet as friends. You are a friend to me
2 Likes
Hey there aces, I’m so sorry your feeling this way. This might be a tough time for you right now, and we all get that. But you have an amazing outgoing future. A coder, sim racer, you have an amazing future heading your way, everything will be ok, please don’t end it, if not for me, your loved ones.
3 Likes
I just happened upon your post…I don’t know any of your story, but it seems you’re known in this community, and loved…
There is a proverb that says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” I’m sorry that you have gone through/are going through so much that you’re sick at heart, just crushed to the point of not wanting continue on in the here and now, that you’re feeling and thinking there’s no reason to live. It’s the hardest place to be. My heart aches for you~
If you’ve made it through the night and check back in, know there’s another person here rooting for you, imploring you to give it another go. 
4 Likes
You are so very loved, @Aces. I hope you are safe right now and will keep pushing through. Your pain is heard and felt, although your life is not over. Death does not deserve you. You have so many good things to bring in this world, and so much to keep receiving too.
I’m looking forward to the next times we get to talk, and I’m excited for you to be a part of the Testers team. Your presence is cherished, your life is valued, your voice is heard. You belong. We love you.
Hold Fast.
3 Likes
Still feeling quite down but coping alot better than I did. The reason I fell in that bad state was MDD. Sorry
7 Likes
Hi Aces,
I just saw your post. I am so relieved you’re feeling more stable right now. I see you as a vital part of this community; being an intrinsic part of any community makes you an invaluable part of this world.
Thank you for letting us know you were in crisis so we could tell you how much you’re loved and valued here. Keep us updated over the next few days. We care about you and want you to be safe. x
7 Likes
It’s so good to see your post! I’m so glad you’re alive!
The second half of the proverb I quoted says, “A longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Seeing your post was that for me today. It made my heart full.
Glad today is a more stable day for you, and that you’re making your way~
Steady on…keep making your way…
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.