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Suicide thoughts... anyone wanna talk?

Im tired of getting heartbroken, this is getting to me now. I was with this girl since 2016 we been online dating. We been off and on through out the years. We got back together a month ago. I feel like ending my life right now cause im just done getting broke I was gonna propose to her and surprise her. It was just lately she says im annoying and I make her angry for asking her if she really wants to be with me, I was just asking cause I care about the relationship and its not my fault I ask over and over. It shouldn’t annoy someone…

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Hey m8, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Do you feel safe on your own? I’m here if you still want to talk :+1:

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I remember having a partner a while back that I was convinced that I would spend the rest of my life…they did not feel the same. But, now looking back…I am glad that the season of life that was in the season faded away. I have learned more about myself and became stronger for it. Have I experienced more heartbreak since? Yup. But thats how we become better people for the entire world.

I know the pain and some of the thoughts that come along with this kind of thing. I know that you can make it through this as well. You are valid. You are important. I am thankful that you are here. We need you in this world.

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hi @Josiah ,

i’m so sorry that this uncertainty and frequent heartbreak is in your life.

it sounds like you’re needing basic validation in the relationship. you asking for this validation and the mere act making her upset might mean there is miscommunication somewhere between you two, where it will possibly be resolved by her telling you more often of how she’s happy with you and cares for you. those sorts of reminders are what makes love so special and my biggest hope is that you are able to hear it more often, my friend.

you have so much love to give and in return, you aren’t getting that much love back. that must be very frustrating for you and i hope that you communicating this need for validation will help both of your relationships with the other.

when it comes to marriage, i feel like if y’all both discussed it and feel like it’s the right next step in your journey together, i say go for it! just remember to keep that communication open between y’all so the surprise doesn’t end in shock.

wishing for the absolute best for you, josiah, and i know that with a little more validation and communication, your relationship with her will be the strongest it’s been. i believe in you!

love,
twix

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Hi Josiah,

I am so sorry to hear about these experiences you are having. They sound absolutely devastating and it breaks my heart. You are so lovely and I can see the depth of care you hold for her. It sounds like you’re ability to love is unconditional and that’s a beautiful quality. It also sounds like you’re doing everything you can to support the relationship. There is a way forward for you; it might be tough waters ahead but whatever happens, you are loved. We care about you and want to see you do you. So mcuh warmth I’m sending your way. Dot.

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Hi Josiah
I am sorry you are having such a hard time in your relationship, it sounds like your girlfriend may be getting frustrated because you both need to sit and have a more in depth conversation about where you are in your relationship and where you want that relationship to go? It is no ones fault when there are crossed lines in communication, it just means things are being missed and mixed up.
If either of you have trouble with this maybe you could talk it through with a third party who could help? a councelor or even a mutual friend?
I think it would go a long way to helping resolve the frustrations and work out where you are both going in the future.
I wish you both well whatever you decide to do.
Much love
Lisa :heart:

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Hello @Josiah

I understand how it can feel when you have issues with someone you love. You are 100% right that someone you love/who loves back doesn’t just say you are annoying or making them angry when you are asking for validation.

You talk about this being on and off relationship and also wanting to propose to her. Have you spent time together IRL recently? I know I used to feel very insecure in my relationship but spending time together in person would ease those feelings so I wasn’t constantly asking/seeking that answer verbally.

Also you should think about how you feel when you are together vs separate? Are you your best self with them? Are you your best self alone? Are you trying to change who you are to fit into their life?

If you want to come back around and discuss further, love to hear back from you and maybe help you sort through some feelings.

<3 with care/Mish

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I’m feeling safe…. I just really struggle with heartbreak. I always work on myself and end up getting into toxic relationships that’s what just got to me at the moment. It’s tough finding real love.

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I get what you mean, it isnt a fun thing to go through, but you will find someone one day that truly appreciates you ^~^
I know it’s hard right now, but remember how important you are, you are loved and strong, if someone doesn’t care enough to see that then they don’t deserve you
-X

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