Super long read, but I don't even know what exactly I need, and what can be done

5 months ago me and my mom had to leave and live at our friend’s home. Friend has a dog. I treated it normally - petting, talking, giving food. (I loath dogs with all my heart). But it would have been rude to ignore the dog.

4 months ago we returned home. Mom started looking up websites, calling dog sellers. She would tell them that her daughter wants a dog. Then I asked her “Oh, so I want a dog?”, her “You don’t?”, me “No, never”, her “Okay, then I’m not getting one, I thought you wanted a dog”. Later I re-asked 4 times “We are not getting a dog, right?”, she assured me “No, you don’t want one, so no”.

Spoiler: by then she has already had a bag of food, a bed, 3 toys and a collar hidden in her room.

Due to the situation in my country (war doesn’t affect my region as much anymore, so I mustn’t really complain), but still, prices went twice up - fuel, water, food. It’s no longer possible to find some types of food - not brands, but, like, no fresh fish - ports are mined, no buckwheat, milk is from powder, not fresh, because rockets hit lots of farms. My mom agreed that it’s not the best idea to buy a dog now, when it’s hard to buy food even for us.

Later she came home with this disgusting creature. She said “So this woman owns a dog shelter. Dogs, left by their owners in our region (it was infested by russians for a month or so), are picked up by volunteers and brought to her. So she offered me this puppy, who was bullied by others, and asked a bag of dogfood as a price for it”.

I’m disgusted by dogs. My mom knows that. I hate them so much, oh my god. This dog bites my legs. The apartment stinks of urine, wallpaper torn, shoes ruined, fur is everywhere. I have scratches on my arms up to elbows - that’s from two attempts to play with it. It hurts to type, hurts to wash hands. My skin is shit, because now I wash hands 6-7 times a day. I have to sit all day in my room to hide from the dog. OH, I stepped in shit 3(THREE!!) times AT MY HOME last month. I’ve never stepped in dogshit in my life ever, anywhere. (With this much hate, I will not hurt the dog - I respect its life).

Some weeks later, she was like “Look how small it was”, and scrolled through the Viber chat. I saw screenshots from an online bank - she paid for a dog, and photos of an old dog and puppies placed on the sofa. Interesting shelter, huh.

Mom works all day. My university is online - I sit at home. My life turned from the best I’ve ever had (apart from war), to:

  • walking around slowly, because I can step on the dog. I can’t stand moving slowly.
  • no longer leaving home, because the dog goes crazy and yells non stop, when left alone.
  • picking up shit, wiping urine. It’s so utterly disgusting.
  • closing doors everywhere. The flat is now dark, narrow, and small.
  • I no longer can eat peacefully … well, there has been no air raids for last 20 hours, so that’s already peaceful, but what I mean is - when I eat, dog stares at me, when I close it in another room - it starts yelling as if I’m torturing it.

When I was begging my parents to buy a hamster, I was told that I’m allergic to fur, and how I almost died after coming close to a pet rat at the kindergarten. But I’ve never felt bad around any animals.

Allergy – lie. Will not buy a dog – lie. Got it from shelter – lie. Now I’m stuck with it for what, 10 years? uuuuuughhhhhshdflhklsgdjhadsgfkhs I want this dog to get lost, and be picked up by someone who won’t hate it. Mom barely interacts with it. When she does, she is hyper angry - she yells at the dog when it shits in the wrong place, hits it.

Had I not displayed any emotions … (I’m usually very unemotional. Stone face. Nothing. I don’t react in any visible way - I feel stuff, but it’s not on my face). It was one of very few times when I reacted with emotions to smth - and that’s what I received.
I get lost when asked “what do you want” or “do you want ___”, I’m never able to say yes/no/this or that - I mumble, change topic. Super pathetic. But, I hate dogs enough, to collect myself and say “no, I don’t want a dog”, when asked. I did that. And the result is - this damn stinking ugly shitting dog.

Everything is so wrong now. I don’t even know what my question to you is. It’s so messed up. So wrong. The worst part is that I caused it, I did everything to prevent it, I was assured by MY MOM that it wouldn’t happen, yet she is the one who did it.

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How did you cause it?

As I see it, the only thing to be done is to give the dog to someone who can help it become a decent pet. My impression is that neither you nor your mom knows how to care for it. The lack of proper training is ruining it. If you can’t give the dog away, you or your mom need to learn how to train it. Dogs are happier and feel more secure when they have a confident “pack leader,” who knows how to properly train. in this case, the pack leader is you or your mom.

Don’t abandon the dog or put it into a situation where it would suffer. The right person can help the dog become well trained and pleasant company.

In the meantime, restrict the dog to one area when you’re not able to intervene when it starts to squat, rather than let it poop and pee all over the place. Most dogs won’t make a mess in the same place as they sleep, so you could try putting it into a small area with a blanket, so it knows it’s a place to sleep, not to poop. Then take the dog outside to do
it’s business before letting it run around the house. I put my dog into the bathtub with a blanket, and it worked out really well. I just carried her from the bathtub to the yard, and she’d immediately poop/pee.

That sounds so hard. After expressing yourself and your needs she still got a dog. I wonder if she would at least see some compromise like getting into training from a trainer and doing some crate training. At the very least that way it can learn toileting and can learn not to get so anxious being alone and start yelling all the time.

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