Swore at a customer - If fired, considering ending it

[Masterchief]

Just graduated college recently. Got my first big job, though it’s on the lowest rung, as tech support at one of the largest tech companies in the US. Have done about 10000 phone calls. Was put on work from home recently so I’m not on office cameras or being monitored by people around me.

Got comfortable with being able to mute my mic for a moment and being able to vent about a customer. Well today I heard the distinct sound signifying to me the mic was muted and placed it in the proper position, like I’ve done thousands of times before when I’ve needed to. Was talking to an old man that was alone and completely lost. Blurted out “F***, this customer has no idea how to plug a device into a wall”.

The customer started acting more frustrated but I didn’t notice. Suddenly the tears come, asking for management. Profusely apologize, ask if they want to speak to someone else. They said no they’ll just have me finish.

30-50% chance management randomly reviews the call. If I get left poor feedback (which everyone is stuck inside and not doing anything so to vent everyone’s been giving people bad feedback ratings lately) I’ll be on the hook for it to be a reviewed call. Especially so if they add in why they are leaving the review, which is that I cussed at them. Also customers think reviews just go for your interaction with the company or if you like the product - they have no idea we’re personally reviewed over it.

This is an elite technology company. This is one that if you get fired at, the following company asks why you’d stop working for them. This will blemish my whole career.

My mic failed me, but I was also in the wrong. I know now to treat the mic like it’s always running. I also am living every hour in fear for my manager to contact me to fire me. The customer has the spelling of my first name so even if something doesn’t happen now, they could call back in 3 months from now and mention how when they were getting help the last agent swore at them - which will spark a goose chase from management to find out who talked to them and punish them.

My calls are recorded. It is very likely if I am not doomed now I will be doomed in the future. This is very likely cause for immediate termination as I cannot represent such a large company poorly as one of their employees. I also need a surgery sometime next year that I wont be able to afford that is having a large impact on my physical health but through this company the insurance is very good.

I know how I’d do it the least painful way possible too. I’d combine some substances to make me so disoriented and unaware of the pain I have no idea my body is being poisoned.

[Micro]

@Masterchief

Hey friend,

That’s a tough situation. It’s indeed very stressful to feel like you’re about to lose your job and having to deal with this uncertainty… Know that you are not alone here. It’s an obstacle in your life, a stressul situation, but there are certainly some solutions to consider in case what you fear becomes true. It may feel like your world is collapsing, like you’re running out of options, but whether you lose your job or not, this is not the end of your life, friend.

You did a mistake, your job is important and the company you’re working in as well. I hear that. Yet nothing in this situation would be worth taking your life. I get that you feel bad about what happened, that you feel stuck and you’re afraid to be called by your manager at any moment. And I can only imagine the stress on your shoulders right now. But as much as your job is important, it doesn’t define your life nor who you are. Those are two different things. You are not doomed.

Indeed, what you said about this person was a mistake. And every person working with clients is likely to criticize them at some point. Especially as you said, during this covid season when there’s a lot of tensions on both ends. Yet you also apologized and asked this person if they wanted to talk to someone else. You acknowledged your mistake and actually said it. It was the right thing to do.

I don’t know how is the culture of this company, but from a human perspective, the mistake you did can happen to anyone. It’s not about you, your skills or capacities at work. I understand that it’s hard not to lose focus because of the stress induced by this situation, but you can hold on to what is real now, and maybe anticipate the different outcomes.

Friend, giving up on your life is not an option. But I hear your pain and you concerns, truly. It’s been too many month that I’m unemployed now and I too am facing health issues that requirese important healthcare. It is worrying to have no concrete perspective. Losing my job felt like my world was ending. Like I was ending. I was dismissed for reasons beyond my own control and I put all the guilt on my shoulders as a way to punish and blame myself, to the point of questioning my capacity to actually work and live. But it is not worth it.

Solutions can be found when an obstacle arises. And yes being unemployed doesn’t help, but it doesn’t cancel your life either.

Right now, we don’t know how it’s going to be. It’s only speculations. So let’s try to be practical here.

1. In case what happened remains unknown from your manager: what are your resources right now to deal with the stress induced by this situation? Whether you are blamed for what happened or not, you can take care of yourself and work on how to deal with this pressure. I know thinking about ending your life is tempting and reassuring. I really get that. But if we put this thought aside, what are some healthy ways to cope that you could use right now? You just came here and shared this. This sounds to be an important step as well.

2. In case you lose your job because of what happened:

• Is it possible, practically? Wouldn’t you receive a reprimand or something instead? Do you know someone in the company who’s been in a similar situation already?
• The “why did you leave this company?” question is indeed scary, and maybe limitating, but you’re not there. If things come to the point of having to look for another job, you’ll be able to think about how to respond to this kind of question. And there’s always plenty of possibilities to receive advices or guidance on this matter.
• On the matter of health: what would be your possibilities? Any health care options for unemployed people where you live? Any family that could help? It could be worth it to look after some informations on this matter and see what could be your options in that case.

Rooting for you. Thinking of you.

[Carnifexecution]

Dude I worked telemarketing going into college and it SUCKS.
I totally understand the frustration…
It’s a very tough job to keep your cool all day long.
I’ve lost my shit before and luckily had the mic muted.
It takes a lot to keep it together, especially after months doing phone calls.
People are so much more likely to get hateful with you over the phone than in person.

Now for the worry…
You seem to know what you did was definitely out of anger and not right. I’d say admit that to yourself first. Extend yourself some grace here. Work on maintaining a sense of peace from here out with customers and trying not to even talk shit while on mute. If this ever does get brought up, talk openly with your manager about it. Admit you had a moment of anger. Maybe by introspecting on the incident you may realize something in your life that is adding stress and pushing you to anger. A good manager will listen to your honesty and work with you on creating a mentally healthy work environment.

Hope this helps. Take care.

[Masterchief]

Well - there goes the icing on the cake. My grandmother that promised to help me buy a vehicle out of college then turned her back on me from stuff I did years before - after telling me that I should not pick up a second job and just to focus on school - has turned her back on me again. She swore to me over and over she’d help and then lied to me, being a millionaire, that she “didn’t have the money” to help me after I graduated, leaving me stranded at a crap job for two years until I could buy a car.

I forgave her and was willing to move on with it, but now for the 3rd time in a row, she just so happened to “forget” to tell me, even ignored my text to her - but everyone else in my family knew for sure they were having a 4th of July celebration.

I don’t see why I should care about life when no one actually cares about me. and I don’t mean outreach on a forum or a therapist - I mean that until I get to a point in my life where I’m very succesful with something and people truly enjoy it and want to talk to me about it - which will probably be never, because I have no support behind me and feel as though no one really loves me anymore…

I’m done. I’m sorry guys. My heart has been closed off to people. The only thing I care about are animals. Everything feels like empty words and manipulation. I can’t handle that the people that I looked up to growing up are gone, and that Chester Bennington is dead, and all of these famous people are ending their lives. We live in a crappy world with people that use others as stepping stones. You either rise to the top and have people adore you for your success, or you are stuck at the bottom. I’ll give myself another year or two unless I get fired, probably will visit one place in the world i’ve always wanted to visit - and will try my best to implant the thought in my head that I have a terminal illness, mentally that is, and that this is how things were meant to be.

I guess I was cursed by my name from birth that was given to me by someone that ended their life only a few years earlier than I would have. If a god exists I must be a carnival creature for him. And I hate what technology has done to the world - It’s streamlined people filling their time with internet celebrities while the rest of us sit and watch others have amazing lives, get boyfriends/girlfriends over the social proof that a ton of people know them and they put their lives on display all day, etc. I was just watching the videos where Mizkif got a girlfriend out of talking to some beautiful girl Maya from start to finish and now they’re dating and it’s just like ‘wow, all you have to do is be good at something and you can act super dumb and awkward but people will still like you for seeing others like you. i’m just living with a bunch of monkey see monkey do’