T-25 Hours

From manni.xp: Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I can talk to someone - a professional person, and the appointment’s
Tomorrow.
I feel so anxious that I can barely work.
I need this. I really, really need to talk to someone.
It’s happening
Tomorrow.
I can’t handle this. I’m barely holding myself together. Just gotta wait for
Tomorrow.
Gosh, what a long shift at the office. I can’t wait until
Tomorrow.

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Manni!! How exciting for you! I’m so happy that this is coming around for you, friend. I really hope you get the best out of this! Really happy for you!

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Oh I can relate to waiting for an appointment!
Well hopefully be now it is even closer to tomorrow! Hang in there.

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From twixremix: manni!!! hi friend, i’m really proud of you for taking this leap to speak to a professional. i hope it goes so well and you find a ton of benefit from the conversations and game plans! i also hope the time between now and the appointment goes by fast hehe. sending you the best of wishes and feel free to update us on how it all goes!

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I can understand how it can feel both frustrating and exciting for your appointment to be one day away. On one hand it’s exciting that it’s so soon, and on the other hand it feels like it should’ve been had long ago. Please know that your feelings are valid and I wish you the best of luck!

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Hi manni, I’m so happy that you get to see a professional finally! I’ve been in your shoes before and I get how nervous you are. Before you know it, you’ll be sitting in your doctor’s office having a chat with them. I hope everything goes well and you can talk about the things you have been wanting to talk about. It will be a huge relief! I’m really happy for you. :hrtlegolove:

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Wouuuh! The thrills and shivering/shaking of speaking to someone professional!

The best would be to write down the subjects you want to address. And depending on how long each session will be and for how long (a couple of months, weeks, etc.), be sure to be constant with your efforts, your openess and genuine self.

It’s not easy to unpack what we have bottled up inside and you’ll find that once it’s done, you’ll feel a bit ligther.

Wishing you the best, you rock and doing so is the perfect first step in order to heal

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Sending you peace and ALL GOOD. Breathe deeply as you wait and stay centered on the positive. Best wishes,
love, Martha

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Hey there! :raised_hands:t2:

So happy that you’ll be able to talk to professionals soon!

Hopefully it goes well :green_heart:

I’ve got everything crossed for you! :smiling_face:

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From manni.xp: This place has such an off vibe

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From manni.xp: What? No, sorry, I meant the counselors’ place

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From manni.xp: Forgot to say, though:
Thank you, Swat 3!

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From twixremix: ooooh that sucks that the counselor’s office has an off vibe, was it from the 1:1 interaction or just overall? regardless, mega proud of you for doing it and as always, your swat fam sends all our love your way!

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Hey Manni - how did your first meeting go? Please feel free to ignore this question if you don’t want to answer/share about it - that is completely okay! Just checking in with you. It was for sure a very brave decision and action to take already, and I hope that this first experience brings some useful/positive takeaways for you. Super proud of you. :heart:

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From manni.xp: Thanks, Twix

Hey, Micro.
I wasn’t able to open up about the real issue, but I have another appointment this week.
I feel afraid of being judged by my counselor, but I’m gonna bite the bullet and try.
Thank you.

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I read your reply a couple of days ago - my apologies for not replying back (I know there’s no such pressure, but really want to acknowledge your willingness to share here and honor it <3). It sounds like this first appointment was good “opening door” to you. Somehow, the couple of first meetings with your new counselor are going to feel awkard as heck, and it’s okay. You’re slowly getting to know them and being used to their office environment.

I truly admire and respect your determination there to not let fear dictate your needs. You have the right to share what’s on your heart, you have the right to seek help and be supported as needed. These steps are scary - definitely a transition that involves to take some risks - but you are navigating them with such wisdom and perspective. So very much rooting for you and hoping that your next appointments will be more comfortable - or at least more approachable (even though you may already had one!). You got this, Manni.

From listening2day: Hey! Also, keep in mind that professionals really don’t judge. That is in their training. That is why it is great idea to utilize unbiased professionals. Hopefully things go better next time. It is always kind of hard to work with any new health professional. Hope you feel more comfortable next time. <:hrtlegolove:387371584857571328>

From manni.xp: Thanks, all.
I feel guilty for even going.

From listening2day: Awe take care============

(Late reply here – ) Yes, it does feel that way at times. Somehow being vulnerable feels like failing - and it brings this huge wave of shame of guilt on you. Saying “I’m not okay” and asking for help feels like admitting some personal failure… it’s just freaking uncomfortable.

Sending a gentle rmeinder though, that you can hopefully use as much as needed during this process of seeking therapy, that what you are doing is at the very opposite a strong and brave decision. Failing would be staying in your struggles on your own, and sabotaging yourself while knowing that support would be available out there. Here, you are embracing what makes you human, and the awareness that therapy can be a crutch - just like one is when we have a broken leg.

There are many thoughts and barriers, but even more shame and guilt, that don’t need to invade your personal space or be a barrier in these circumstances. It does take a huge amount of strength to do something while feeling afraid of it but knowing that it’s right. What you are doing is a healthy decision, one that I imagine you’ve been meditating on for a while and thinking about it back and forth.

I’m so very proud of you for trying. For not letting uninvited guilt and shame getting in the way of doing something good for you, even if it’s part of the emotions that have been arising. It’s hard to see it when you’re in the midst of this process. Although I can assure you that what you are doing is at the opposite of being shameful. One day, you will see it through your own eyes too, and you will embrace all your own progress, all your personal growth. I promise you that it’s beautiful. You are a beautiful soul, Manni.