Talking to my ex

[lost]

Today I started talking to my ex in a friendly way but I’m realizing I miss her idk if it’s what we had or just having someone to talk to and seem like they care about me. Idk what to do

[Lisalovesfeathers]

Hi
Thanks for your post, I am sorry that your relationship ended. I think that its perfectly normal to feel the way you are right now, when you have been with someone for a time and break up, reminiscing will generally be about the good times and the conversations are done without the general day to day stresses and strains of life that we have in our partnerships so its easy and enjoyable. I wonder if having a good think about the relationship as a whole is the best way forward, think about the good and the bad point and go from there. Taking that time also gives you longer to allow your feelings to settle a bit as im sure at the moment they are probably up in the air.
I wish you all the very best.
Much Love
Lisa

[Micro]

Hey @lost,

Thank you so much for being here and reaching out.

It can be disturbing at first to talk again to your ex and learn to adjust to a new type of relationship with her. For so many people, being exes doesn’t prevent both people from being friends, which is awesome. But it can also be pretty confusing in some situations. Is it okay to be friendly? Is there a line to not cross? Is our relationship really over? These are questions that can really make you wonder for hours how things are, and how they’re going to be.

Would it be okay if you’d share a little more context regarding your relationship? Like, for how long you’ve been together, and how your separation was (decided by both, or only one of you?). This could help us understand a little more the subtelties of your relationship, as each one is unique, and support you as best as possible.

When you say you miss her also, is it her as a person or is it being in a relationship that you miss? Sometimes, we think we miss a person while we actually miss what was attached to them - not being alone, feeling heard/cared for/loved, etc., and vice-versa.

In any case, take your time to meditate on how you feel, to learn to name that experience, to truly put words on it. From the confusion will come clarity, but it might take some time before you get there, and before making any further decision.

Hold Fast.