So, I went to the August Burns Red concert last night. What should have been a super fun, rejuvenating evening was totally anxiety ridden. Because of this, even as ABR was playing, I thought, “This is why I drink. I just want to drink now so I can ENJOY this”. (I didn’t.) For Pete’s sake, metal shows with my favorite artists are what make me feel rejuvenated and alive. If I can’t even enjoy something that usually brings me joy and encouragement , then “Why DON’T I just drink?” It was the first time I legit stood up by the stage, watching Silent Planet play, feeling numb and nothingness as I watched the one band that has inspired me to persevere through their music and sharing their personal struggles. Even when I met Garrett, I was so numb to it. Anxiety had it’s full grip on me. I had to fight to get the tears to stop as I was in line about to meet him! I KNOW it’s all my free will choice to drink or not. But moments like last night, and the following disappointed that comes when fully realizing that I felt NOTHING but overpowering anxiety while I watched my favorite bands on stage makes me want to say “screw it”. Watching my favorite bands live is one of the few things that usually makes me feel fully alive!
hi @NomadicWanderer, i am sorry that I only now read your post, and I am sorry that you experienced that. I can so relate to your words…
feeling nothing is, in my opinion, even worse than feeling horrible. I know I can’t make any of this go away, and I don´t think I can even help make you feel better now, but I want you to know that it is okay to feel that way and that you’re not alone and that it won’t stay like this forever.
I truly hope you stayed strong and didn´t drink, because it is just not worth it, but even if you did, we still love you and care about you.
anxiety is most of the time my biggest trigger to drink, but I believe in you that can overcome this.
my words might sound empty to you, but I care about you and I know it sucks, but it does not hate to be the end of the world, you can make it through and beyond.
please know that you are stronger than you will ever believe you are, and that you are so loved.
love you friend!
I am very sorry to hear what your going thru. I never had alcohol in life but I know for many people its a struggle don’t give up. Be string hang in there and be around positive people that uplift you