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Thanks for the help so far, I still don’t know what to do

First I just wanna day thx to everyone even tho I don’t know them who took the time out of their day to comment and say something nice, that really helps

Tomorrow I’ll be starting my first day of my junior year in high school, I’m still holding on, ive been cutting in my chest area, and I know it’s not healthy but it makes me feel a lot better, I’m not sure I can make it through the year or the next one, every single day of my life in school has just been terrible, just like another day of torment until the school system is done giving me pain, my gpa is 1.9, meaning all my plans in life are over, I try to do better but I just never can, and now it just hurts, I wish I could go to college, but I can’t, as much as I hate school, it’s all I have, I know no college will accept me, but at the same time I know that continuing school is really all I could do with my life, as much as I hate that place, I feel safe there and like people care about me there, my friends will all go, there all intelligent people, I’m the only one who’s failed so hard in life, making music didn’t really get me anywhere, I didn’t get some following or anything, I’m making YouTube videos now, it’s my last shot in the dark, aside from that I’m going to join the military once I finish high school, my final plan after high school is to go into the military and die, I failed in my life but I figure maybe I can die there and maybe at least in dying there I’ll be able to do some good with my life like die helping another just fighting for others, I don’t know where to go with my life besides that, I’ve also considered just running away, being homeless and disappearing doesn’t sound as bad as the version of my life that I know is coming, I just want help, i just wish someone cared, I have a lot of friends, and I just wish one of them would ask and I could say this to them, but I could never do that, I’ve told my girlfriend a little bit, but that’s it, I feel like I know my life will go no where now, I’m tired of staying up at night crying to myself and wishing my dreams would come true

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If you could do anything in life, what would it be? Have you ever considered a place like Job Corps? Technical school? Sometimes, we find that we have talents that aren’t quite in the conventional bubble. I understand the feeling like you’ve failed. I really do get it. I still do feel like that some days, but I have realized that there are things that I have done that show that I’m not a failure. And I think that maybe, you can find that, too.

I want you to try and hold on. I promise, that there is a vast world past high school. And there is a place for everyone in it, you included.

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