I am new to this and found it by accident…or divine intervention…I am in the early stages of an …what I will call, awakening. I have been married for 30 years and this past week I had an experience that stopped me in my tracks. In a nutshell I (for the first time) hear…actually heard what my husband felt about me. He is not in love…never was. He sees me as a charity case, I am unattractive, I don’t fit in with what he wants a wife to be…etc. the awakening part is that I already knew all of this. I have come to see that when I try to share my feelings or hurts or anything, it is immediately shut down. I think my husband is a good man and I am not putting this on him at all. This is all about me and my mental health…what I am going to do with what I know.
I am so blessed in so many ways. I feel that I have woken up from a very deep sleep and I am disoriented. I want to feel safe, protected, valued and I want to feel that my heart matters. I don’t know what steps to take and I feel alone.
Thank you for listening
Mustardseed
Hi friend,
I just came out of a marriage of 13 years. We had been together around 15 years. Not quite as long as you, but we married so young that there were a lot of issues that existed the entire time that prevented us from being as close as a married couple would want to be. I won’t go into details now, as it’s late for me. Almost 3 AM.
But I wanted to tell you that I see you and I hear you. I have been in a strained marriage. My husband wasn’t a bad man. But we weren’t very good for each other for many reasons. And I battled a lot of mental health issues with very little support or understanding. I spent a great deal of my early years and relationship feeling unwanted and miss understood.
If you ever need a friend to talk to, that has been married and a little older than some here (34) then you are more than welcome to message me.
I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through. I hope that this awakening is a good thing for you and leads you to something that helps you feel happier. I had my awakening around 2016 and I’m in an entirely different place now. What was a resolve for me, may not be for you. But if you need a friend to be there that won’t judge, as you go through whatever it is you’re facing, I’m here.
- Kitty