I’m so over everything. I’ve just come up from a very low point of near relapse, but I just phone call that’s made me realise I’m actually just at a point where everyone thinks “YOU NEED PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE”
Yea, you’re right, I do… Which is why I went to be assessed by the psych team at the hospital, to see if they could shed some light on what is happening and hopefully give some solutions so I can get into a place where I can atleast leave my house because all my doctor is doing is piling on the medication.
But of course, that came back with nothing… They’re increasing my meds even more and signing me up for groups that I can attend on my days off work so i dont just sleep, because apparently, the solution to me being unable to get myself out of bed to attend the groups im already supposed to be attending is by throwing me in some more.
If no one is going to actually going to take a look at what is actually going on, and how we can help me to get myself out and about, how the fuck am i supposed to get to these groups. why do they insist on keeping me medicated when the medication isnt even fucking working? I’m done. I’m over it. I can’t take anymore. I’ve exhausted everything I know how to and I’m getting no where. it’s just constant dead ends.
I wrote a new suicide plan… I haven’t yet decided a date, but, I’m just… I can’t take this anymore. THe people who claim want too and have the power to help me are just going no where and I’m done.
I’m sorry to everyone I’m letting down, but I just can’t keep running around in circles and hitting dead ends. It’s been the same for years and I can’t keep doing it.