The darkness within

Hey wall, my name is Quinn. I’ve been volunteering for HeartSupport doing what I can to help for a good couple of years now. So usually I’m on the other side of this conversation…but today I come to you with my own demons.
Day by day I live my life wearing a mask of happiness. The last thing I want is to negatively impact someone else’s day, or their life for that matter. I want to see others happy and flourishing within themselves, so I do what I can to create a better space for others, because that matters to me. I’ve always been able to use words to guide others dealing with depression and anxiety away from that darkness that holds them, all whilst fighting the demons myself. My words to always help me though. This is where I’m stuck.
The last couple months have been very heavy for me. Lots of stress due to bad life decisions and other outside reasons, and just an overwhelming feeling of dread.
The emptiness and numbness seems to increase a little bit each day. Things that used to detour me away from this feeling are slowly not helping as my mind walks further into that dark place.
I don’t have the balls to harm myself, but I can say I’ve thought about it. More than once. So here I am releasing what I’m feeling to you because I need to.
If I don’t, the darkness will swallow me whole. As a community we can hold the light together.

Hey Quinn

Thank you so much for all you have done for others. I am certain you have brought glimmers of hope to people who felt like they had none.

Just want you to know that I have been where you are at, I hear you and how overwhelmed you feel and I totally back you to get through this! Well done for being brave and getting this off your chest: you can tackle so much more than you know. Keep strong, God bless.

Hi Quinn. Thanks so much for your candid and open sharing. You truly do have a beautiful spirit. It’s clear you care deeply about others and you want others to feel happy. That is simply amazing! Keep being you and bringing light and joy to the people around you.

I am sorry to hear that you have been having lots of struggles lately. I’m sure that is hard. Just know that this season will pass and the light will be around the corner, even if it feels far away right now. I personally have been struggling keeping that mask of happiness every day as well. I haven’t been able to shake these many months of pain and depression. I understand where you are coming from with that.

Just know that you are loved and that there is always hope, even if the darkness seems strong right now. I believe in you! Stay strong Quinn! Thank you for just being you.

Hi Quinn!

First of all, thank you so much for everything that you do for HS! You are so appreciated friend. Secondly, just know that you don’t always have to be the one helping. So I hope you won’t be afraid to reach out as you need to! And I’m glad that you decided to today, because what you are going through is just as important and I want to be able to extend my love and support to you as well.

I’m so sorry that you are struggling right now. I know so much of what you are saying because I battle with it myself. But know you are not alone my friend. And you are so loved by so many people. I hope that we can link arms together and work through this together. And I hope that even if just in the smallest way that I can be some sort of positive for you.

I’m glad that you haven’t hurt yourself yet. And I hope you won’t ever fall into feeling like you have to. It’s such a dark road. But should you ever, we are here to support you and help you through it.

So much love to you Quinn.

  • Kitty
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