Man, that’s a stressful situation. I can relate to being anxious with the idea of getting back to work, especially after a long break like /w quarantine. Even though my situation is different - currently unemployed -, I totally feel like my anxiety will keep being a constant obstacle. And indeed, the state of our world right now doesn’t help for not to feel overwhelmed. Not fun to wake up with a weight on your chest almost everyday, and being afraid to hold many responsabilities at once… So, the thought of working again in any work environment is stressful, yet having a job or not can’t be questioned for me.
It’s hard to change our habits, being somehow released from the stress related to work, yet knowing that we have to get back to it at some point. And with your situation, your boss being away while you need some support, I understand why you feel unprepared. As our friends said here, take it easy. One day after another. If you have the possibility to take very small breaks to use breathing or grounding techniques, it could be great too. You don’t necessarily have to go away, and sometimes even just a minute is enough to release the stress. You’ll certainly find again the automatisms that you have there, a sense of familiarity. Like when we stopped doing something for a certain time, we remember how it works but we need some time to handle this transition.
I’m sorry your first day back there was hard for you though. I wish it was different for you. But it’s okay too. You’re stressed, so it makes sense to have a breakdown. So I hope you don’t blame yourself for this. How you feel is valid.
I feel like I am working in unsafe conditions
How are the conditions there? Are they taking covid and the need to protect their employees seriously?