I’ve recently just joined this website a few minutes ago. I’ve read other people’s stories seeing how dark and twisted they are. It inspired me to make a post about something that’s been keeping me awake at night. Pressure. Pressure has been keeping me up at night. I’ve spent restless nights contemplating if it’s really worth it anymore. I’ve had this dark thought process for more than awhile already. I just want to know if anything really matters. Does anything really fucking matter anymore. I mean we’re all going to day someday. Most of us are never going accomplish something big in out lives. Does what we do really affect how we live. Life is just a sick and twisted game about choice. The people I love won’t be around anymore, I won’t be around anymore, in about 7 billion years the sun explode killing the Earth itself. I feel as if we’re living in a simulation created by a bigger and smarter intelligence. Anyway before all of that I was talking about pressure. The pressure on my back my parents have put me through is, is full of shit. “Get all A’ s trust me you’ll be happy.” “We’re counting on you to be succesful.” “You can’t do what you want as long as I live.” That’s all the bullshit they’ve been putting in my head. I am only fourteen years of age and this pressure is exhausting. I have a younger brother and I know he’ll be going through the same I will when I leave for college. All my siblings have been through what I’m currently experiencing. Half of them quit and the other half didn’t. It’s such a weird split but, the ones that quit tell they are happy and the ones that didn’t quit tell me once they finish they’ll be happy. I Don’t understand why I’m always under constant pressure. Why I’m always struggling to sleep at night. I put on this disguise at school. I just want to snap at all my teachers telling them what they do is useless I’ll never understand it I’ll never care about it. I’ll never know why I need. Changing the subject. Why does it really matter. Human life. Are we just entertainment for higher beings as the scoff and laugh at us. I can’t feel anymore please someone help me.
I’m glad your still here. School is not just to learn math and science, etc… but is about life experience. I have a 20 yo son in college rn and he isn’t doing all that well. He is a sophomore and is considering stopping after this spring semester to train at a gym. He has almost fully decided to quit college and focus on what makes him happy, being a trainer. It doesn’t matter what it is but this life here is best lived if you do what makes you happy (within reason of course). I mean one can’t just say playing games online makes me happy so that is what I’m going to do. With that being said, everyone must finish high school in the USA for legal reasons. I mean you can drop out but believe me that is a bad idea. Dropping out of college is a different thing altogether. Try to smile and enjoy it when others smile as well. That is a start for understanding why we are here. I can’t explain it to you because you aren’t ready to learn it (plus I’m a horrible teacher). This is due to the lack of life experience (due to age not to your experiences). If you can hang in there and finish high school and try to do as many things in your life as possible you will be amazed where you end up. If you would normally shy away from something, just say yes and go for it. This will help you break out of your bubble and will also show those around you (including family) that you are impulsive (in a good way). You’ll love where this “Yes Theory” approach. Love who you are friend. Hang in there.
Didn’t mean to quote “his pressure is exhausting” so no reason to read into that.