The problem that i still need to be solved

Hi, its been a long time indeed.
Since i had this big upgrade with my health problems i have not found the need to write or speak about how i feel.
My emotional problems dont only come from my health, i developed some self stigma with my body, and also with the way i am. I started having thoughts about self-harm and suicide, and other severe things. The thing is, ive actually tried to commit suicide again… With a tanto dagger. I simply dont want to deal with the pain of living inside a person that hates me. And other people hate me too, i had problems in school, ive stopped talking, now i only talk at home. They look at me like a weird thing, just for the fact that i like both men and women.

It seems that the idea of dying my hair or buying lenses to look different helps clear some self-hate problems, but there is still more that i need to do soemthing about. I have finally been diagnosed with medical deression, so medication will come in handy in very harsh times.

thank you to all the people there that support my changes and the idea of me feeling better.


From: ManekiNeko

hey there, how’re you travelling? On one hand im so proud of you getting a diagnosis, but I also feel the pain that comes with it.
I do hope that you have been consulting your gp to get that medication off on the right foot.
People often judge without thought, but I assure you that you are safe here. There’s a whole community who love you and care about you.


From: AlexisPlushie

Hello there, I am so proud that you got medication for your depression that is such a huge step! I myself have dyed my hair and I must say it does make me feel better, would this be an option for you too? Is there anything you can do in hard times that can put your mind off those thoughts and help you through it? like a hobby or something you like to do like watching some videos on for example YouTube or maybe playing some videogames. You are anything but weird for liking both men and women if anything that is something you should be proud of! Love, hugs and support from Alexis <3



Hi Bjorn, it’s been a long time. I’m so sorry that you’ve been feeling so down, but I want you to know that we don’t hate you here at heart support, we care about you. We want to see you well. I’m glad that you have a diagnosis and hopefully, it won’t be hard to find the right meds for you. I know for me, my meds really help me a lot, I have major depression disorder. You matter! ~Mystrose


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Bjorn, its lovely to hear from you, it has been a while indeed. I am so sorry that you have developed some problems with stigma regarding your body. Its so hard these days to just be who you are and be happy with that. It breaks my heart that this is causing someone who has had to fight for a healthy body to want to end their life. People say beauty comes from within and it gets ignored for the most part but its so very true, it doesnt matter how handsome or stunning a person is if they have and ugly personality and you my friend have a beautiful soul which in my eyes makes you as beautiful no matter what. I am grateful that your suicide attempt didnt work and that you are still with us and I want you to stay that way. You are loved. Lisalovesfeathers. x


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello again, Bjorn! It’s good to hear from you again. I’m glad you haven’t felt the need to post here in a while but regardless of your mental state it is always lovely to see your presence in the community.

I’m sorry that you are feeling unaccepted by those around you. We certainly accept your for who you are, 100%. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling with your healthy diagnosis versus what your mind is telling you right now. But I hope you find some peace and I hope to see you around more here and in SWAT and wherever and whenever you feel like joining this welcoming community. Stay strong, friend :hrtlegolove:


Hi Bjorn,

I too have a hard time of writing things down or not knowing what to say. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression since i was 13. I have been on medications since the same age and I’ve gone through so many. I know when you’re younger it seems very hard to live with. I didn’t believe people when they said it gets better, i only got mad. I asked when it would get better and they never had a response for me. As i grew up i slowly learned that the little things are what kept me going. I never thought i would get to the age of 22.

Right now it may be very hard, I don’t know how old you are but I would suggest think about things that you like right now, it could be anything. I find that I like the way the sun feels on my skin when it’s warm or the way the air smells when it rains. Take time for yourself, like how you’re dying your hair and buying things that make you feel better. I used to buy anything without thinking about how it would affect me, I would suggest if that ever happens, take a minute to stop, slow down and think about what you’re currently feeling. Are you mad? Are you sad? Take some deep breaths and talk to someone who you feel comfortable with. It could be a friend in person or online.

If you ever need us, we are here


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