The sunrises have become dark

I work overnights now. And I was on my way home from work and I was just looking at everything around me. Now if you guys follow me on any socials I’ve been posting sunrises every morning. But today I was looking at different things.

I recognized the glass on the side of the road I could cut myself. The bridge I could jump off of. The train I could drive in front of.

I’ve just been feeling down and really alone. These overnights have been wrecking me tremendously. And it’s so easy to just be alone. Everyone is awake while I’m asleep, and everyone is asleep while I’m awake.

Maybe overnights wasn’t the job for me…

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Maybe overnights aren’t for you. Or maybe you just need time to adjust. Give it time and I’m sure things will smooth out for you.
I often go camping, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up at midnight, 1, 2, or 3 AM. And I agree, the dark is lonely, but if you look around, it’s really not as lonely as it seems. Sure, there’s few people around, but look beyond people. The owl hunts the fieldmouse on silver moonlight, while the wind may blow more firmly than in the day. But if you need that human interaction, and you’re not getting it at all, maybe overnights aren’t your thing, and that’s okay.
Stay strong: you are loved :slight_smile:

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Hi friend, I love you.
I appreciate you.

I don’t follow you on socials but I can still relate to what you are sharing. Even with not working at night, I still know what’s it like to be so lost in my head and consumed by my darker emotions. To look around me and lose sight of the beautiful things and see them instead as an escape.

We all have our moments of breaking and hitting deep points. But it’s important that we build our ladders and find our way out of that.

I know how trapping the night can be. I’m a night owl and love the night but being stuck in it feels trapping after a while. Maddening even. Like you said, were awake when everyone is asleep and we’re asleep when everyone is awake. It’s a routine that doesn’t always feel good.

If this job is directly affecting your mental health, maybe you should consider trying to find a different job or ask for a different schedule if at all possible. Not every job will be fit for you. So, don’t be afraid to address and fix it.

I hope things get better my friend. It doesn’t have to stay this way and it can get better. I’m proud of you for trying. That’s all that matters. Now just don’t be afraid to reach out and see if there’s ways you can change it. You don’t have to stay in that cycle if it’s not working out.

I know job search is hard. But you can still actively look while working. That way if an opportunity comes up, you can swap if you need. If your job place can’t change your schedule

Stay strong. It only has to be temporary. You can get through this.

We’re here.

  • Kitty