The world is a terrifying place

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Too much empathy is my enemy. Just like trying being perfect. These things,I’m starting to realise and I’m terrified. I’m terrified of this world. I’m terrified of people and what they do to each other… to animals and to the planet. ( yes I am guilty of being a major hippy)
But why does everything have to be a fight or like we are walking on eggshells?? I’ve walked all my life on eggshells to be the perfect mold of an orthodox nurse white girl. And since I broke out of the ugly mold… I felt more confident so reach out to places where that old mold wouldn’t want me to. But I find myself in ridiculous situations… because I’m trying ro be perfect again in them. The perfect ally, the perfect protestor, the perfect helper - the perfect newly healed out to the world. Its a vicious circle. And the world is vicious and sometimes coming here it makes me angry. Angry to see people cry out and feel alone… when most of their pain doesn’t stem from them being wrong but the world we live in. Forget social media,it drives me nuts- angry and scared. Hate crimes, racism against racism, women against men,men agaisnt woman, homophobics and other ridiculous phobics- people who just dont.let.others.live… why?? I’m ashamed of our species. There is nothing to do about it. Because I can’t solve every problem. So I have to help where I can and see words fall- efforts ignored and cries go to deaf ears. For everyone. I know I need to pull myself together and stop focusing on what I can’t fix but these ups and downs are just all overthe place… fixing yourself is a hell of a disastrous task.
I don’t want people to die. Not a single one.
But I’m so terrified quarantine will end. I’m afraid to go back into society… it was broken before but in pieces now… and for once I don’t think its fixable.

My thoughts go out to those seven women who were butchered in their homes in my hometown…

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I totally feel your pain here. I was just thinking about something very similar earlier. Lately for me the icing on the cake has been seeing that recent grocery store shooting & the lack of empathy from people on social media :confused: it feels as though humanity is growing colder each and every day. The world seems so cruel and horribly messed up. Buuuut I would definitely say be careful how much you focus on the negatives and the intake of news you watch. Its really stressful. Though it feels there is so much bad: remember good people still exist. there is still good around you even if it can be overshadowed by the bad. Take time to practice self care. Have some time in nature, go out for a walk sometime since the weather is getting nice again!!

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you are not alone in these feelings, friend. the world is constantly saturated with evil, selfishness, and pain, especially with technology putting the worst of it right in our faces.

what has brought me peace when i share the same thinking as you is to take time to make a physical list of things that helps prove to me that there’s still good in humanity. i start by listing the people in my life who have shown unconditional love, moments of selflessness i’ve witnessed, causes/charities, etc… having that physical reminder that hope is not lost is important to me and i hope it, or another form of finding hope, helps you as well.

while it’s easy to believe society is shattered beyond repaired, i know that there are still some pieces that we can still super glue back together especially with considerate people like you out there. and that is what gives me hope.

love,
twix

p.s. my thoughts and love are also being sent to the families of the 7 women who’s lives were taken too soon. wishing you and your hometown as much peace as y’all can find in this horrible situation.

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The world is a terrifying place. I hate that it’s so broken, and I like you and everyone else wish it would just be healed. Why can’t we get along, agree to disagree, love our neighbors, quit fighting? Is that too much to ask??

It’s beautiful that you care so much, and the world would be a better place with more people like you in it. You can’t fix everything by yourself though. Find your cause or causes, find people to rally around, and charge into those. As for the rest of the garbage, have faith that other people with your level of passion and commitment are out there trying to make a difference in those areas. For my sister, it’s police reform and minority empowerment. For my brother, it’s addiction recovery and providing paths out of homelessness. For me, it’s mental health advocacy and promoting dog rescue. No single one of us can do it all, but if each of us does a part, the world starts getting better. A phrase that lives at the front of my mind is “It begins with me.” What’s your cause? :slight_smile:

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Unfortunately the cause that was closest to my heart is a lost cause and already over. But thank you for the kind words, I wish you all the best!

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Nature is a real healer your right about that. Thank you for the nice words I appreciate it.

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Thank you I’ll try it!

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Hey @Verona2900,

Thank you so much for sharing again your heart just as it is now. I hear you. I feel all the weight of this world with you. And without any hesitation, I can assure you that this crushing feeling of being overwhelmed by what’s going on out there is something that we collectively share.

This world is, indeed, a very terrifying place. Once we slow down a little, once we’re less focused on our daily life, we get a larger perspective… which can be really soul crushing. So much violence, so many behaviors that seem irrational, so many important values that are denied everyday while we all crave for simple things… such as loving and being loved. It is, objectively, scary, especially since it takes an instant to destroy, and so much time to rebuilt what is broken.

You’re aware that we can’t solve every problem though. As human beings, there’s only so much we can do. Does that mean that we have to give up on hope though? Of course not. And yes, through all the things that we can’t control, there are things we can do. We don’t need to be a superhero, to extend ourselves without measure or push ourselves beyond our limits to contribute at our own scale and make this world a better place. Superman is a fictional character anyway. But in this very tangible reality, the moment you start to reflect on yourself, the moment you try to learn and be a better person, you are a hero. Especially because this world is a wild, wild place to live in.

To stop focusing on the wrong that’s happening out there is part of the solution, but it’s not a realistic expectation either. You’ll keep being hit by a deep feeling of injustice because injustice will still being around us tomorrow. And you know what? It’s okay to feel that way. Good actions start with a sense of indignation. But there’s a balance to find in the way we process those feelings. Do we want to be stuck in rumination and pain, or do we want to turn this pain into something that will help us grow? Again, it doesn’t have to be a revolutionary process. There’s no small step in this world, no progress that would be too small or insignificant. Every contribution matters, whether it’s made for the good of others or ourselves. Taking care of our own light will keep being reflected to others, directly or not, through our behaviors, the words we choose, our capacity to be vulnerable in a world that keeps making us ashamed for having emotions… if not for loving people! I believe it takes a lot of strength to be ourselves, to be real, to be true.

You have a beautiful heart. It’s your strength. Your inner spark. So keep it safe, friend. Cherish it, as much as possible. This world has and will always manifest so many ways to take that light away from you. But you have what it takes to keep it. And even more, to use it in ways that would make this world a better place.

I’d like to encourae you, today, try to take a moment to embrace a bit of silence and solitude, if you’re comfortable with it. If that’s possible for you, maybe even consider spending some time in nature. Our world is messy, noisy, but when we listen carefully, mother Earth’s is also full of a life that awaits us to hear it. Hear the wind caressing the trees, the song of birds, see your reflection in a water puddle and breathe, breathe deeply the air that’s available for you. There’s a sense of grounding to find all around us, through the consistency of the sun rising up and going down everyday and every night. There’s beauty to find in the kind gestures and words, in the smile of someone, or even just in the scent of a warm coffee in the morning. It may seem like it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things, but our world is made of all of those interactions and all those natural cycles that keeps happening everyday. It’s still there, all around us, and it’s also up to us to learn to see it, to embrace it, to treasure it.

Slow down, breathe deeply. This world runs very fast and will keep running anyway. Sometimes we need to jump a little bit out of the train so we can finally enjoy the view around us. It’s not selfish, it’s not naive, it’s not about being a hippy and it’s not denial. It’s only what we need, sometimes, as human beings. To focus on what is simple, grounding, and essential.

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Hi Verona2900
Some would consider having too much empathy as a gift, therapist come to mind. I truly believe it to be a gift, but like many things, there can be aspects of it that can be difficult to handle emotionally.
I would encourage you to explore this gift. Empathics are special people because of this ability to ‘sense’ and ‘feel’ the world around them. Most empthics have an extremely difficult time watching violence, or being around a lot of ‘negative’ energy. Getting overwhelmed by all the ‘feelings’ that surround us, is very common for empaths, not that other people don’t pick up on the same things, but with empathics, it’s a deeper impression, one that can leave a kind of residual impact, like they’ve been through an emotional hurricane. There is information on YouTube about the trait.
Other people are HSPs, or Highly Sensitive People, who possess empathic traits. This is all real, HSPs are a certain percentage of the population, and it’s a trait found in animals too. I think it’s cool.
As for being perfect, it’s a lofty goal, but one that can lead to really negative experiences, as you know. I’d encourage you to do some self reflection on ‘being perfect’ and what that means to YOU. You are trying to ‘be’ what you don’t believe you are to one degree or another. I think YOU are ALL you need to be!
The world is the world, we cannot change the ‘world’ what we can do, is change ourselves, that is all.
I cannot explain good and evil, but I know that I have a choice to be good or evil. I can contribute to the force for good in the world, as you have done, or I can choose to ignore the pain and hurt of others.
I believe in balance. It is in the contrast that we see the value of nearly everything. We’re spoon fed negativity since day one, so we tend to frame our world in negative terms. Compare the negative expressions one uses each day to the positive expressions one uses. It’s a shocker. But how would you understand pain if you never saw, heard, or felt pain. How could you be compassionate with someone who is hurt or in pain, if you have no idea of what it means to hurt.
What about the people who do great and wonderful things. There is a helicopter on Mars now because of the ingenuity of humans. There are several vaccines to fight this pandemic, created in what is known to be record time, because of humans. This is the balance, there is positive and negative, good and bad, so it’s by this rationale that serves as my understanding of life on earth.
I’d encourage you to seek out information on empaths, and the highly sensitive trait, as you may find coping information that works for you. Also, I’ve really limited my media intake over the pandemic. I mean it really started getting to me, so I’d recommend lowering your intake or finding more positive shows.
Here’s a link to an favorite of mine. An animal lover from birth, I love the guy who thought up robot spy animals, (another human achievement. :slight_smile:)

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