One member of my family is orchestrating lies about my SO and about our relationship. It’s causing me deep depression and anxiety because I know what they are saying is untrue, but it’s incredibly hurtful and cruel of them to insinuate. It’s making me pull away from my family, even those who I know support us, because I feel so alone trying to handle this.
That’s really tough. Thanks for reaching out and sharing with us, TheKatIsALie Fan #10. I’ve been in this situation a couple of times in the past, once with my first very serious boyfriend and then with my now husband. You just need to listen to your heart and know what the truth is. It is really crappy when people just go out of their way to lie and hurt others, there is no reason for it. Reach out to those who support you and your SO, reach out to your SO as well. You don’t have to do this alone or handle it by yourself. There are those who care about you and want to be there for you, just like this community! For your own piece of mind if you have to pull away from the family members who are being hurtful to you, than do so. There is nothing wrong with letting go of the toxicity and making sure you are okay and safe first. Stay strong, we believe in you. Hold fast, friend.
I remember many times someone’s lack of truthfulness pushed me away. It’s never an easy thing. I would first suggest telling them that you love them but you would really like the topic of your SO to be off limits. Set some boundaries. If they can’t talk about something else they need not talk about anything. This could at least prevent more gas from being continually fueled to the fire. Also always remember that those who are supportive love you and you know you won’t be happy if you let yourself push them away.
Also, even though you know what they are saying isn’t true. There’s a chance they have convinced themselves in their mind, and are not “intentionally” fabricating lies. It doesn’t make it better, just know they may not be doing this on purpose, so try not to let it be too hurtful.
If you are happy in your relationship, focus that and don’t let the negative in. Stay strong and positive. You will figure it out. Remember you do have loved ones supporting you
Sometime the people we cant the most is family. Even family have their own issues and dont know how to solve them. Whatever the family member, I would take a couple of steps back from them and not interact as much as possble. Dont let their lies get to you!