Dear Little Fred: It isn’t your fault the hospital damaged your brain when you were born. It wasn’t your fault you were born with invisible birth defects. It wasn’t your fault your mother kicked you over as you fought for your life because you stopped breathing, and she thought it was funny. It wasn’t your fault you got ahold of a whole bottle of wine and drank it all and your mother, stepdad and others thought it was a big joke. It wasn’t your fault that your stepdad would get drunk and brutally and bloodily beat you and your brothers over the head with a shoe or beat you and your brothers until the muscle tissue was exposed. It wasn’t your fault your dad didn’t want to see you because he didn’t want to see your mother because she left him. It wasn’t your fault your mother left you at your dad’s work because her and your stepdad and family became homeless. It wasn’t your fault your cruel stepmother brutally beat and strangled you. It wasn’t your fault she’d blame your “bad behavior” for the reason you aren’t going to Great America or Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk just to manipulate you. It wasn’t your fault she starved you and made you wear clothes that barely fit so kids made fun of you at school. It wasn’t your fault she came in the middle of the night and would brutally beat you in your sleep. It wasn’t your fault she shared pictures of your naked body with her friends. It isn’t your fault she was so sadistic she’d find any reason to brutally beat you, or no reason at all. It wasn’t your fault she forced you to lay in bed all day when there wasn’t school. It wasn’t your fault she sent you to the children’s shelter because obviously something was wrong with you, not here in her eyes. It wasn’t your fault your dad beat your brother’s face so bad the whole side was purple. It wasn’t your fault that you because mentally addicted to Ritalin and lost your chance to be adopted and taking your brother with you. It wasn’t your fault that you hung yourself because of erotica because nobody ever taught you about sexuality. It wasn’t your fault you were already showing PTSD signs at this point in your life. It wasn’t your fault the hospital and group home scene was so chaotic and disorganized. It wasn’t your fault the medicines that should have made you better didn’t work and gave you weird allergic reactions. It wasn’t your fault you had so much rage that you wanted to kill people. It wasn’t your fault that even in adulthood your mother treated you like garbage. It wasn’t your fault that your dad didn’t care you existed until recently. It isn’t your fault that your TBI and CPTSD makes it much harder for people to see your true heart… @heartsupport
Man, this made me cry. I wish I knew how to connect with my 11. I want to go back home too
His mother had her stroke when he was 11.
I consider myself a huge Tool fan but im learning through your videos. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Please do H. by Tool…
This album brings my right back to my teens. Struggling with my homosexuality in a tiny Midwestern town. I was so full of self hatred and loneliness. Tool really helped me get those feelings out.
Austin, I forgive you. for what you’ve done and what has happened to you. I am here for you no matter what!!! Fuck those assholes that hold you back! You are who you are and what you choose to be! Not what has happened to you or what may be.
i was 11 when my parents separated . very tough time.
Rage against the machine.
please do bottom of undertow
Jimmy has beautiful eyes 
and lovely earthly colors 
and btw… cool song 
Subscribed!!
Wow! Just came across your channel, you popped into my news feed as I am a huge Tool fan. First, I’m immensely impressed with your interpretation right on the first go… it’s amazing how you got so much meaning beamed right out of that little lighted window on that album cover… lol (yeah I caught that). Your energy is very aligned with mine. You remind me of my mom Lol. 🤷♂🤷♂And I have to say, your iris’ are mesmerizing (those color variations are hypnotic). You captured me, when you looked into the camera. I can see there is a universe in each one of those eyes… I’d love to to get lost in those eyes (sorry couldn’t resist that upswell of infatuation), I suppose your used to that kind of attention… beautiful, thoughtful, intuitive, witty oh my… well… now I will have to go watch your Wings for Marie breakdown and ogle a bit more. I’ll try not to uncomfortably stare…
please, react to pushit - tool!
My wish list order for your next tool reax’n:
- Pushit
- Culling Voices
- Right in Two
You should react to “Man Overboard” live from the What Is… album by his other band Puscifer, you would probably enjoy it.
It’s thought that Maynard was sexually abused by his step father. During a live show in South Carolina Maynard stated that his asshole step father lived in South Carolina. So, the way I interpreted this with the small statements Maynard has made is that when his mother became a paraplegic she could no longer protect Jimmy. Btw, Maynard is a nickname he was given in the military… not his middle name as many people have said over the years.
H. and Right In Two are both songs I highly recommend you do a video on. H. is not about heroin as many people seem to think, it was originally titled Half Empty and is about having multiple friends on your shoulder who all think they know what’s best for you but sometimes you have to figure it out on your own.
I don’t know if anyone already said this but during a live show while on tour for the Ænima album Maynard said something like (I’m paraphrasing) “this song is the sequel to Prison Sex.”
I’d love to see you try to make sense of “Lost Keys / Rosetta Stoned”
Hello younger Kyle, I just wanted to tell you that you’re safe now, buddy. It wasn’t your fault & you did nothing wrong. Even though it was really hard to finally tell him “…no more!” the moment you did you truly found your voice; it was strong and so are you! You are harder than a coffin nail, and you will prove yourself to be unflinchingly courageous despite the odds against you. Keep on shaking your fist at the gates, kiddo…you’ve earned yourself a pair of wings! I love you, younger Kyle 
P.S: I always cry hearing 10,000 Days pt. II (see my reply in the comment section on that video for context) @HeartSupport