“This feels like depression in my body” -therapist
“Feels like home to me”-me
That’s the thing about addicts, we’re all about instant gratification. It’s incredibly difficult to embark on the path of recovery when the results don’t come immediately. Working through our pain is very foreign to us, but we have to learn to do it in order to find a new way to live. Recovery is real work.
I’ve sat with this song many times. No real addictions but depression and ptsd from a narcissistic relationship. Every part of me was being taken over and every attempt to escape became mistakes and rought me with guilt. I’m still learning to rebuild and forgive myself and her
This is one of my favorite songs of all time. You described it perfectly as haunting. But despite the sadness evoked by the music and lyrics, to me there is something inspiring and beautiful in the raw vulnerability and emotion of the song.
As a a music lover and therapist myself, I want you to know how much I appreciate your insightful and wonderul anaylsis of these songs on your channel with the goal of providing support and comfort for people going through significant mental health struggles. I am inspired by your apparent devotion to destigmatizing mental health issues using this platform, it’s very commendable! Thank you and keep up the amazing work! 
Here’s something I think about depression and addiction: I imagine some people are fairly normally adjusted and then get addicted to a substance that sends them spiralling into depression. These folks can probably find healing by overcoming the addiction and recalling their former health. On the flip side, there are folks who suffer from depression first, and then medicate themselves with an addictive substance. This would be more difficult to help and feel more isolating because it would be something more difficult for others to understand. Since the victim’s depression predates their addiction, the cause is something other than the addiction itself.
I’m a combat vet of oef12-13. I was injured down range and had to get multiple surgeries over the year back in garrison. This was also around the time that prescription pills were the thing (before fentanyl and heroin exploded). At that time in the army, pain management would just give you all the percocets you needed to soldier on and soldier on I did… I didn’t abuse them but I took them for so long that my body became dependent on them. In that time that I started, I had two children and I had to keep up with their lives, my career, and keep my marriage up and going. I didn’t have time to kick it… it’s the worst feeling knowing that you’re killing yourself to keep yourself engaged with life… that coupled with my PTSD, depression, and anxiety are one hell of a cocktail. I still struggle but nobody knows and i can’t tell anyone because i don’t have time too be pitied. I don’t have time to kick it because i have work, raising and guiding my children with my wife, house upkeep, community relations, vacations, anniversaries, etc. I’m exhausted and i wish i could go for turkey but i just don’t have the time to do i keep going forward hoping i don’t get caught it destroy my body before i can somehow get off… it’s a vicious cycle that nobody knows I’m in. It’s lonely and this song as well as your interpretation really hits home for me…
Layne was in another band as well called mad season, listen to river of deceit! That one is deep as well as frogs ,would ,and sludge factory, and rooster which was a song wrote for Jerry’s dad who fought in Vietnam! Layne was not always on drugs, there was a time b4 fame he was happy, but life had so much crappy it delt him! He lost friends and his gf to drugs and he was trying to get clean until his heroine addicted father came back into his life and got Layne back into the drugs! It was very sad to watch him slowly wither away!
Truly appreciate you hearing this song for what it is! It’s AWESOME that you, and my kids have had A LOT of SUPPORT that we never had! However, there is a VERY important distinction to this video, a VERY generational one. We HAD NO choice and “NO ONE” too “cry tooo”. Calling that a CHOICE tells me you DON’T know life back then… I can appreciate you spreading the message to the younger generation, but, please don’t interpret what he was saying based on what you know NOW… interpret… FOR YOUR… generation… what it could potentially MEAN FOR Y’all now! Keep doing great work!
about 5 years ago, i lost my wife… that day, i lay on my bed listening to laney talking to me, (this song and down in a hole) pulled my crack box under my bed and started to smoke a gram of crak… drank half a bottle of rum and reached down and grabbed my gun. i held my gun inside my mouth and pulled the trigger. it did not fire. i had 8 bullets inside my mag. all of them failed to fire. picked up 2 ejected bullets that failed to fire and loaded it again. i was so angry when it fired when i pointed it to our dresser. im a musician. i am emotional. i am weak. and i am addicted to mth and i dont have control.
Your heart is clearly full of such empathy and you have some great suggestions for people who are struggling. At the same time, I don’t believe that you have the right to say that Layne was wrong when he expressed feeling like he was all alone. That may have been quite true. No one but Layne and the band members truly know their situation. But I know that there are situations that feel nearly impossible. And sometimes, despite reaching out, you met with a lack of understanding for what you’re going through on a fundamental level. You’re right that we all have choices. And yet you seem pretty young to me yet. I pray that life doesn’t serve you situations where you would find yourself truly alone in the sense Layne is conveying. Too many of us have. Because unfortunately, it is very possible for a person to feel quite alone with people all around them.
Connection is the most powerful antidote for addiction and depression. And yet, too many of us who would be in a position to support someone like Layne, instead choose to preserve themselves. To pass judgment. And too many people choose safely, living a life with little risk - risks and experience that are intrinsic to someone knowing in their heart of hearts what someone like Layne went through. As I’ve gone on in life and gained experience, this song has meant more to me than most humans. I would never be able to adequately thank Layne and the band for giving me and others this song as our companion in the kind of times Layne is singing about. I write this with great love, and with Hope.
This song has a lot of meaning for me I was lucky that the lord gave me a son which is kept me from eating a bullet I finally had a spiritual awakening on June 9th at about 3:15 in the morning in 2021 and there’s no doubt in my mind that we have a father above is the thing I love about this song is it’s like he’s singing right out of my head I’ve got PTSD and 50 years is way too long to live with the images that are in my head I was raped beaten and tortured until I was 11 years old and life didn’t get easier from there I made a lot of mistakes along the way and one of those mistakes was my ex-wife and the hardest thing about that is she’s part of the equation that gave me the three best things in my life I got a female black lab first and then when she was three I had to have a litter of puppies and I kept one of the yellow males and then my son was born almost a year later so that was the best time of my life but then shortly after my son was born I realized who I had really married because she no longer caught herself when she would behave in a hateful mean way and shortly after my son turned threeI was miserable but I was willing to stay with her until I graduated from high school play like I was starting to say after he turned three he started hitting her because he was defending the way she was treating me and then I realized that no longer was it just affecting me it was affecting him as well so like a moron I tried to treat her like a human being and basically I handed her an accident and put my head on the shopping list because I don’t care about money I don’t care about all the things we had or the property we had the only thing I cared about was our son and my dogs and she kept all three from me my dog’s for a year and then they became too much trouble for her and we’ve been divorced for 21 years and my son is now almost 24 and she still isn’t over it and still uses him as a tool to hurt me but if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be here right now commenting the Lord’s used my love for him to show me how much she loved me because he sent his son here for me and I don’t think that I could be that selfless that I could send my son to do what he sent his son our brother to do and that was to die for our sins and I’ve committed a lot but there is forgiveness but you do have to repent and a tone I haven’t lost the feelings that I have I still I can’t wait to die but he’s not going to take me until he’s ready for me it took me 3 years 4 months and 15 days to figure out the path you wanted me on and now I’m on it and he shows me constantly that I’m on the right path in the path I’m on is I’m just trying to get to the light at the end of the tunnel to where I can leave hell which is my mortal life and start my eternal life with him I have a different look at nutshell and I’ve actually reworded it to the way I wish that Lance would have wrote it because I feel guilt that I’m still here and he’s not because I feel the same way he feels and I feel guilty for that I want to be able to give him a big hug someday but I don’t know what the afterlife holds I don’t know if suicide is a one-way ticket to hell I don’t know but what scares me is if you take the word nutshell and split it in half you have nuts hell and I’m afraid that that’s what happens when you commit suicide another person that I heavily relate to is Chester Bennington of Linkin Park he and I had a similar childhoodthat’s another person I want to be able to give a big hug to and I’m worried that I won’t be able to because again it’s like he’s singing right out of my head I wanted to thank the therapist who’s doing this I sorry if you said your name I can’t remember it I’ve had a concussions that’s eight concussions sorry if there’s portions of this it seem like I’m having a brain aneurysm but that’s because I’m using speech to text but whoever this therapist says I just wanted to thank you for doing what you’re doing whether you realize it or not you’re one of God’s bright lights
I had a motorcycle accident on October 16th, 2008, on the highway coming home from work, not wearing my helmet. After my skull flap was removed, to let the brain expand. The neurologist wished me 24 hours luck on survival. After 2.5 weeks in ICU. I was transported to a brain injury hospital wearing diaper and eventually allowed to ride in a wheelchair. I learned everything again as an infant. Alice and Chains "Nutshell " was my constantly played song. I have survived so far, 16 years. I ride my 2 motorcycles that I purchased new. 2015 Harley-Davidson Ultra Classic Electra Glide and my 2019 CVO Road Glide. I wear a helmet ALL of the times riding now. I play guitar along "Nutshell " great memories of my traumatic brain injury. 
Don’t worry everyone I have had the complete misunfort understanding for you all ready. Let’s start with what I never understood about opiate addiction. It takes a massive toll on you physically. If you do 1 1 1 now u need 3 and 3 2 3 to get to normal. Not high! Normal! That means now you are doing 5x9 more than when you started to not feel like ever bone in you body is breaking in half and you do not have the worst flu of your life. That is just back to par and not getting high. The hole just gets deeper and deeper.
I was in a really good band back in the day and there were several bands that always jammed together. Some of them played with powerman 5000 Ten Years, Seven Dust,Motionless in white BMTH and lots of other big bands.
Well unfortunately for me and our other guitarist we got really into opiates. Nobody is coming to save you. It is a battle of you and your demons alone. Some people make it and some don’t. My best friend was one that did not make it and he reminded me a lot of Layne and I miss him every damn day.
Opiates is not a teenage fun idea of experiencing drugs anymore. When it has you you will never know until you try to let go. Then it is to late and drags all the shame,misery,depression all back to you.
I’m sorry to all my Gen X’s out there (everyone else go about your business), But if you grew up listening to Alice n chains in the 90’s and still looking for help from someone more than half your age that wasn’t even alive then and probably hasn’t faced anything remotely close to invoke the depth of these types of emotions bound by the struggles within, then you need to get off of You tube and seek help from someone that can do more than regurgitate what they read in a book to pass a test. That “someone” is YOU! Start with this: Get out of your own way and PUT THE KEYBOARD DOWN, EARBUDS IN, BLAST THIS SONG AND RUN UNTIL YOU CAN’T RUN NOMORE and go a little further! I promise you’ll feel a lot better than any words this kid can tell ya while pandering for Likes and Subscribes
This is weird to have a video of literally one of maybe 2 or 3 of the 90s biggest bands, Layne Staley and his journey and battle was known in the 90s and they spole about it on MTV when MTV was a music channel. He is no different than orher famous artists from Jim Morrison, to Janet to Jimi Hendrix to some of the Rolling Stones members and the 90s saw its own faor share of heroin deaths. Layne and the lead singer of Blind Melon were maybe the two most famous, but there were actors amd other celebs like River Phoenix who died and everyone knew the minute they. Heard the news what the cause would be. Like curt cobain shocked some because he just rifled his head off nearly but his addicyion from a stomach ailmentand the pain he said openly he had was going to be his end, all my friends listend to Chains, everyone did, thsy were basically the sound of the late 90s and fheir music was recognized by other very successful bands that commented how they wished they couod wrote Chains type lyrics on each album but nobody matched them, Nrvanna was basically done, Soundgarden was new still and not nationally huge yet, but i mean, this video has some acting like there is this unheard of band to most people that had a unique singer and maybe he was depressed more than addicted??? What are we doing w youtube now just creating dialogue for views? Everyone knows that Layne Staley and mostnmemeber of Alice in Chains were riding a fine line of life and death as their addictions got worse. Smashing pumpkins and Alice in Chains w Tool was maybe one of the most insane things ive ever seen and thats from all aspects, the bands and how obviously blasted theey were and yet masters of their skills, and the crowd being also a huge group of people that lije to be down. Like down, heroin, Acid drops, some heavy dosed shrooms, but this wasnt your weed and beer show. It was 75k in an outdoor venue and it felt dark as F, but still amazing. Anyways ya Layne was a very famous person, think the grunge male version of taylor swift except he barely spoke outside of music related things and he hated to be on camera. The video you showed had an old MTV speakover version where the girl that did the interview wiith the band before the show said it felt like Layne was seperating and getting worse. The song was about his absolute hatred of his addiction. Yes that has a relative effect w depression, but 90s bands didnt wirte about being depreaased, they made tons of cash writing about being an addict and even better when you started wrotong your own effagy while in a real rundown time. It suxks Chains didnt have 10 more years of music cause thwy were avout tobe like the Stones or Bealtles of that peroid.
I’ve struggled with addiction since the age of 9 yrs old. I’ve always despised myself and was never able to really just fit into my own skin. The same things that kill me on a daily basis have also saved my life, at times. The pain of a lost life and now at 58 realizing it’s all gone and that what was supposed to be special was a big disappointment. I was the pawn in a game played by sexual predator at 7 and 8, at nine i found the drugs that kept me from killing myself as a kid but eventually they also turned on me and made me stay awake through the rest of this wasted life. I’m so mad at God. This song and Lane Staley put into words what I’ve felt but couldn’t say for so long.
To be clear, I feel like this was meant to be a good thing but something about it just dont sit right with me. He was an amazing person with issues clearly he had problems but they were his, he owed them. and he chose to share his pain with millions before deciding it was to much for him to carry alone anymore. his life created that pain the way he chose to deal with it was becasue he was alone. People that can trust people dont lock themselves in a appt for a year! you clearly have never really been betrayed by your mind and the people that claim to love you are the ones that did it to you, thats not just depression. Thats your heart with a wound that may never heal! I have had many tragic things in my life that put me in this place i chose to not turn to drugs. but i still went thru this pain that few have ever had the words to describe with absolution addiction was to my pain which is what happens when your life is chronicially bad, just like layne I lost who i was into something or someone else. and it took me years to recover each time. i recovered each time because i chose too, not because some mental health garbage about someone helping you, truth is no one can help you, if you are really in this hole only you can pull yourself out of it. its why rehab dont work for 90% of people that get placed into it, but the 10% of people that really decided to detox and get clean on there own are the people that stay clean. people with in the moment depression from events/trageties and choices that they can nagavagate because they have other positive aspects of their life are different then a lifetime of pain and mesery that you did nothing to befall you, specailly when you grow up in a world like stanly did or i did, my entire life was awful humans endless drama with drugs and violence. even tho i have never done drugs myself i watched 90% of my family and friends die from them. Trying everything a human can do for another and they always chose what they wanted not what they needed, you can say they are just weak people etc but the truth is they were just pushed to far far to long they could not handle the pain they were living with! so they choice to escape no matter who it is at a certain point we all reach a point where we cant come back! i hope for all of us that you never know what this is like! I do not think i am different to be clear i had reasons to get better! sometimes we dont have reasons to! Hopefully someone will read this and understand!
How would you like to be the one they are singing about? Funny, i thought of Metallica’s Garage lnc. album when I started to watch this video (i tend to have the whole thing shown to me at first glance). I’m not in music or media but they and many others are searching for the one they’ve been hearing of on a particular psychological frequency and it’s making a heck of a mess! Two dead in this band and on and on (“Man In the Box” video). I even have a flow bee self hair cutter they’ve heard about from people i worked with from a job i had back in the 80, and early 90’s (on the “friends don’t let friends get Haircuts” message on that unusual bass guitar). The reason i try to lead people to Christ instead of me or this kind of human interactions with the thousands of sledge hammer like clues, lures and hooks that they use to find who they are talking (or hearing) about! They are into deep and dangerous stuff as the people i worked with were, something like those two witnesses in Revelation chap. 11. Kind of like the position Christ was in with his being a nobody but trying not to let it hurt anyone except him to fulfill and finish that higher spiritual thinking problem or human psychological phenomenon.
It’s not a choice to talk to someone!!! No one truly understands how you feel!!! I remember yrs ago a therapist ask me how l was feeling and l told her if l could let you in my body to feel what I’m feeling you would run to the closest bridge and jump off!!! I battled with severe depression from age 19 to 32 I’m now 44 and by the Grace of God l woke up one morning after 13yrs feeling my normal self again!!! No meds no therapy helped!!! I tried everything lived in the crisis unit for months Self medicating/opiates was the only thing that brought some relieve with that said l hope anyone that is going through it I pray you make it to the other side I’ve been clean since that morning 13yrs ago!!! You can make it through and there’s Hope!!! Everyone’s story is different but what’s the same is the pain and in the end we all just want to be are True self!!! Life is worth fighting for!!! Love y’all Wish l knew the fix for everyone for me it was time and God!!
if you’ve never listened to alice in chains and the rest of that eras flooding out of the holy spirit through music, you’re not as evolved as you should be. catch up on all of it and then save Tool for last to complete your evolution. not joking at all.