Therapist Reacts to Troubles by Ren

I needed this channel…

Ren has mentioned King Arthur or Excaliber in about 5-6 songs. Same goes for Lord of the Rings. He is a nerd and we love it.

Music cleans the soul from the dust of everyday life.

Such a lovely motivational message to echo Ren’s- I especially love your suggestion for people to visualise (& sow the seeds to actualise) what their story would be like if built on a foundation of hope.
If only everyone had easy access to someone like you who not only is absolutely excellent in understanding and validating people’s feelings, but is also inspiring in ways to overcome and view things differently. In fact I think its so important, and could save so much suffering & feelings of isolation & hopelessness, it really ought to be part of the National Curriculum - MH awareness & CBT etc

I would 100% tune into a livestream of you watching his deep dive into his story (Chapter 1-8). It’s sad, ugly, beautiful, funny, and raw. Or don’t react, but just watch…you’ll leave a better person. :black_heart:

Astounding song from Ren!! Amazing reaction!!:heart:

disability (this ability) irrelevant, bar, when he starts on his 23 year old scheme, bull’s jacket, micahel jordan, goat, hes awesome, when he says found a glow in a doctor he turns his shoulder and looks back and the light from the building is on his shoulder glowing, hope, so many lil things, i could keep goin, and he the kiss of cold steel, he said not a metaphore but he said your’s beforehand, (kiss of cold steel, gun in your mouth) but then hope.

Thank you for sharing. I am a 60 year old man who has been dealing with anxiety and depression since I was a child. It is only recently that I have accepted anxiety and depression as just a part of my life. A part of my life that I can, and will, live with in peace. It’s a struggle many days but it was also just recently that I realized that I have been writing and creating artwork most of my life as a way to cope with what I used to think were demons. Thank to you and many others who have broke down the wall for many of us. If it is ok I would like to share a little something I wrote recently after a couple hard days.
My family’s all here
yet I’m still alone all night
Breaths becoming harder,
my chest is squeezing tight

Palms sweating like a river
Thoughts racing with the flow
Miles on my feet
Wall to wall nowhere to go

Sadness steps up and quickly reveals
It’s evil, ugly head
Depression and anxiety
Fill the emptiness with dread

Slowly the darkness of day draws near
With notions of pending doom
Outside a world brightly shines
Yet I’d rather not leave the room

A fluttering chest
Catching breaths when I can
Light stays dark, hope stays lost
Feeling much less like a man

Anxiety screams drowning out
Every sane thought
Depression whispers to my soul
In a bottomless pit I am caught

No decision I make is right
Hollered between my ears
You’ll never get out, you’re stuck for life
Mutters confirm my fears

Telling me I’m never right
Urging me not to fight
Slowly the evil convincing me
Every day will be dark as night

No place to go, nothing to do
No one understands and they never will
One more tab, another capsule
Go ahead and try one more pill

It’s a vicious cycle, been there to long
I don’t want it to end like this
But I’d take it all from everyone
The world would be better if we still had Chester and Chris

But I can’t take it all
Only mine is for me
And I can’t save the world
That’s a fact I now see

It’s so hard to face the anxiety
Forever on my back
It seems so relentless, so evil
A never ending attack

And the depression I live is constantly
Stealing all my joys
So hard to get out and do the things
I once did with my boys

But I know I can push through this
Fight it with so many tools
I’m not letting anxiety and depression
Keep making me feel like a fool

I have opened my mind
New ways to be freed
I am no longer running
No hiding, no weed

Now seeing the worries as senseless
Self made woes
Anxiety and depression
No longer my personal foes

They are part of me
Something I should not hate
It’s just how I was created
A simple matter of fate

So I’ll move forward now
Practicing what others preach
I’ll face these troubled traits
Through lessons survivors teach

I know I’ll never be totally free
But a happy future is now what I choose
To those who are fighting the same battle
Don’t ever give up, we don’t have to lose.

I love your reactions soooo much!!! You have so much empathy and it shows!

Have you ever heard a song by pearl jam called, Just Breathe. If not, give it a listen its a great song with powerful lyrics. :heart:

I was ejected a year an a half ago from living, reality changed and I don’t really know what’s real most of the time.

I know and understand that you have done Linkin Park! One more light possibly?

You have to check out his life story renmakestuff call😢missing

Yes - Ren’s “Chapters…” Worth a listen. He’s such a prolific writer. This song is a compilation of the chapters. Thx for your great reactions!

i try trying tried now 45 no love gifted to me a smell of this rotted corpse no family mourns my fiery agonies misbegotten in cold darkness infestation of roaches eat holes in me deep bones now cracked mirrors all is weaving dim stars in my brain im becoming something new carved out the old flies of my cancerous mothers belittlements of my pitiful self i tried in the wishful end to be blissful and whole in my mind asylum where the crickets sing mockingly to my stabbing laughing farcically bipolar manic mania ptsd anxiety suffocating never ending story of mental illness which none but the ghosts of past pray in stained sheets and weep for poor black sheep me with one eye left sees the bitter-sweet drunken though sober with dementia yet no resolve for us both candlelight cracked as teeth next to deaths hour glass long due with mold and dew scar tissue slowly sewing my liver and kidneys in a squealing pig stomach where childhood hate pain miserable moribund dreams ferment hanging as a wailing baby above mothers haunting smiling autopsy to despair my rebirth as a bastard seed to be aborted so mother can live a happier life with men beer cigarettes and no crying brat to wrinkle her rose petal flesh as it has this life caused by a mentally abused bastard for 45 of my 70 years as this broken poor money hungry family all but reborn still a bastard from a pigs sewn belly gnawed upon in this strangled infant maggot form in our lives to love non and peace i tried alone in my broken old age with this rat family i give all falls apart like vomit and feces through my hands through my hands …tired now my only true friend mother father my truth teller and soon healer a kiss to the temple and all goes silent in a gutter somewhere, who cares many die sad alone hungry daily my friend .380 only told me the truth in the end. -(john)

15:21, there’s a couple of thousand things I’d particularly love to say about pain. I’m uncertain if posting here would be cool. I’ve had nine surgeries on my lower back. Starting in 2001, number 10 is June 7th. I’m ever so hopeful. This is just cleaning up an incision. I’ve been to the top and the absolute bottom of any pain chart you look at. I’m almost out myself. I’d had suicide prevention training. So when my mind went that way. My only choice was to tell my wife. We have children two boys. They were 11 and 13 when I experienced this. It hit me as fast as I could to plan it out. For myself just saying it out loud freed me from it. It’s not competition over who hurt the most. For me it’s who can I help? I feel compelled to speak out about suicide whenever possible. When you bring it up. You only get a couple responses. People with empathy stop and talk. Most people go the other way. I’m drawn to pain you see. People don’t understand how it becomes a part of you. I think of pain before I do anything. That’s never going to go away for me. Even though I feel a lot better now. Head in a lions den, body in a shark pit. You can’t know if you haven’t felt it, I hope you all never know. Pain is ugly and evil I’ve changed my opinion on numerous things. Plus I learned more about myself than I really ever wanted to know due to it. I’m getting stronger by the day. I do see light at the end of the tunnel. Just a little more pain before I leave. Then I’m seriously going to be done with it.

@HeartSupport I’m really struggling right now. 7/31/23 my oldest son died. When he was 5, he was diagnosed with Duchene Muscular Dystrophy, and this type of MD is fatal. It affects all the major muscle groups, including muscles that control the heart and lungs. The doctors said he’d probably never see age 25. I’d imagine they said that, because many parents of boys with this disease don’t limit the amount of food they eat, and they become obese. We didn’t do that with our son. In fact, he looked more like a poster child for someone with anorexia. When he died, he was 24 days away from turning 29 years old. I’m glad that my son is no longer suffering. This disease is painful. He got COVID, recovered from it, then got pneumonia, and recovered from that. After fighting both of those, the muscles that control his heart and lungs were just too tired to keep on going. He thankfully passed in his sleep. But now that his suffering is over, mine is starting. He was the first of my boys to change me from a woman and wife to a mom. My childhood starting at age 3 was filled with abuse, with sexual abuse by my foster father when I was 3. After I was adopted, when I told my adopted mom about the sexual abuse, not realizing what I was telling her as I was describing my nightmare, for reasons I don’t know, she began to abuse and punish me for what he’d done to me. I imagine the copious amounts of wine she drank daily made it easier for her to be so nasty and mean to me. My adopted father knew about her abuse and allowed her to do it with no intervention on his part. I joined the US Army to get away from my abusers. Shockers of all shockers, I married a man that was basically my mother in a male body. His abuse was very similar to hers. I won’t go into many more details, because they’re not really relevant to my point. I’ve just been through so much suffering my whole life, and now my baby boy is dead. I have so much grief and my heart is so broken. His birthday was 24 days after his death, and that was so hard. The holidays were terrible, but Mother’s Day this year has been one of the biggest struggles I’ve faced in my life. My current husband is also an abuse survivor, which is why we love each other so well. Unfortunately, there’s only so much comfort that he can give me. The few friends that I thought I had, have no time for me to let me talk about my pain. I have a counselor that I talk to and it’s very cathartic to be able to vent about my hurt to her. But still I’m facing this basically all by myself. I feel so lost, so alone, and it’s so hard for me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Each step that I take doesn’t seem to move me further ahead. It’s like I’m stuck in quicksand and each step I take is futile and wasted energy. I’ve been suffering the cruelty of this world for half a century now, and I’m tired of feeling all this pain. I’m tired of constantly being punished for being a good person, making the sacrifices at my own expense for the benefit of the people I love. I’m trying to remain hopeful but it’s so hard right now. All I have left of my baby boy is a photo on the front of the urn his ashes are in. This isn’t how life is supposed to go. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to keep on going with a shattered heart.

I feel that way…