Well I was gonna be jobless but I would have orientation at a job thinking in a few days interviews went really well almost had 2 jobs.
Unfortunately I’m still depressed but I’m sure things will be good, im not at the point where life is meaningless and questioning if I want to live or not it was so bad before.
When something bad happens memories of just being abused and beaten severely since I could remember being at the age of 2 until 18, there was freedom ever since I ended up going to a youth group I’m 25 now but I made friends and was open to a youth leader and they helped me, and the very next day I ended up livung with a pastor for 3 years but
Life was at its turn when I left over an agreement I didn’t fulfill going to this year program I went but didn’t think I needed it, I still believe I was right. I was there for 3 months it was suppose to be 12 months and I just felt home sick for the first time. And ended up going back home but on a bus for 28 hours it was so very lonely and then was met by the pastor with the rest of my belongings having to live with my grandmother. They couldn’t take of themselves my aunt and grandmother, they lived off the government and mice and rats where everywhere in the house I was staying at. I was dealing with it for 3 months…
Deep dark depression hit me when I realized I was rejected by my pastor and his family, and they were the only ones in my life that were good influences and after when he just dropped me off in the neighborhood I looked for old friends and they introduced drugs in my life and alcohol all kinds of things.
It was dark because I never wanted that kind of life and honestly was on my way to jump off a bridge I sat on the rocks and looked up to sky. Hopeless saying is this really it God, is this what this life really is. Just crying balling my eyes just about to get up and my closest friend randomly called me and he never calls he was excited about what God was doing in his life and I just was like honest I said what was going on. I told him I don’t want to live dude this life up until I was 21 just wasn’t worth it anymore just talked to me picked me up to hangout at night.
Hi GoldenNuggs42
It is great that you are doing better. You are on a good track. You have some really serious trauma issues among other things. I am sorry those horrible things happened to you. Nobody deserves to suffer as a child. I am glad that because you have suffered you dont want to hurt others. You have grown as a person because of your bad experiences. When youll manage to stabilize your situacion it might be a good idea to start a therapy because of your trauma. Those things can come to hunt you when you least expect them so it is good to deal with them when you have the strenght to do so. Right now focus on yourself and try to find your place in life. You are a very strong person and I believe that you can pull through. Hold tight. I wish you all the good things .
You’ve been through so much. I imagine that it should have been difficult to type all of this. Thank you so much for your trust here. It’s our honor to have the opportunity to get to know you even more.
I remember a time when you posted on this forum while feeling very hopeless. It is such a relief to see that things are slowly getting better for you now, that you’re thinking about your future with more confidence. It is also admirable to see how resilient and strong you never ceased to be while dealing with such hardships and traumas. You may not have seen it while being in the middle of this storm, but being here with us today, being able to share all of this as well, displays so much strength that you hold in your heart. From these incredibly painful experiences and loneliness, you have been learning to grow more and more and to claim your right to have the peace and life you deserve. I truly commend you for not giving up and for continuing the fight today. This job search is going to be made of times of uncertainty, but you are doing really great. Keep trying. Keep moving on. And once you could get access to some professional help, please don’t hesitate to find a therapist - if you’d be willing to give it a try. What you have been through is a lot to process, and you might need a space to reflect on it in order to heal ever more in the future.
You are loved. You are strong. You belong. Regardless of the injustice that this world has placed in your own journey.
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