There-was-a-fight-today-again-at-home-we-have-it-a

From pokemon._: There was a fight today again at home. We have it almost everyday. My father was shouting at everyone at home even in front of neighbours. Not just my father, everyone in my family have very high anger issues.There is physical and mental abuse at home. Once, my fathers brother having a mental disorder, broke down a light, hit his parents and slit his hand. The fights take place in such a way that i cant say whos gonna die that day. Although it never happened, im really very scared. I am dealing with all of this from my childhood. My mom has already gone into depression because of all this.

Coming back to today’s fight, I couldn’t bear all of these fights, and I shouted back at my dad. Sometimes I feel that I need to raise my voice so that the fights subside at home. I wasn’t like this before but looks like my behavior is changing too by seeing fights every other day at home.

I just want peaceful atmosphere at home. I am not able to bear these fights at home anymore. It’s taking up all of my mental energy and I’m not able to focus on anything else. I want to escape from this once for all and I’m getting suicidal thoughts.

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From matteo131: hey friend, i hear this and i’m sending u so much love. it’s an awful situation to be in.

From matteo131: what helped me was 1) taking agency and making plans to get out and create my own lil life 2)learning about the psychology of having a home like this 3) reminding myself that it isn’t forever and avoiding ppl who started fights and such as much as i could 4) fillling my life with little self care things (a blanket i love, a safe writing space, finding time to buy myself a coffee and watch the sky, leaving lil kindness notes everywhere, fun with ppl i love, etc)- make a list of things that sound good to u, and would make life a little easier 5) regulating my nervous system. HUGE one here 6) making new friends and bettering relationships with old 7) being gentle to myself- even when it was hard and i couldn’t. let myself have breakdowns, have the im terrible and i’m gonna listen to myself, make the mistake. and always love myself, change patterns, and allow the growth i feel is best. compassionate towards everyone- know what they’re doing their best. they’re accountable to their actions, and those actions come from a place of hurt. stay safe (physically AND mentally) and focus on u. what u need. what’s the best way u can get it?

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From matteo131: life CAN be so beautiful, notice the little glimmer whenever they come. it takes time to develop. the first step is meeting yourself where you’re at. whether it seems possible or not, you got this💗

From matteo131: i know i needed to hear this, so i hope it helps. feel free to ask for ideas, recommendations, or any other advice/help

From pokemon._: Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. The world needs more pople like you. I hope I can get out of this mess as soon as possible.

From matteo131: thank you! u got this♥️==