So, I’ve been having issues with my close recently. She’s a wonderful person, and an amazing woman of God. She even interns for this amazing Christian non-profit, and I couldn’t be any more proud of who she has become. But, lately things have been tense.
We had a really bad falling out recently. I was having a bit of a mental breakdown, because of my mental health, serious health conditions, and other things that have been weighing on me (not that it’s an excuse, by any means), and I overreacted to something she had said, and we had a bit of an argument. I apologized after the fact, and tried to mend things, even gave her a few days of space. I texted her yesterday, because I wanted to say that I’m sorry again, and even try to encourage her a little bit. Didn’t hear from her, which is fine. I texted her once more today, just to say that I respect her wanting space from me, because I know with my mental health, I can be a little difficult from time to time, like many people who struggle with similar things. So I did just that. I told her I respect her wanting space, and reiterated that she mean a lot to me, and that I was so proud of her for her work with her non-profit, and also as an artist (she’s a wonderful photographer). She finally responded saying that I come off as clingy and dependent on her, which I am most definitely not.
I realize this probably sounds like a silly thing to rant/ post about, but to be honest, this really hurt me. By NO means am I saying I’m blameless or perfect. Obviously, like I said, I said some things I shouldn’t have in the past, and tended to overreact to things. But, I really do try to better myself every day, and to be more compassionate and selfless, and to be a good example of Christ.
But yeah, idk. It just hurt. I explained to her that I only depend on God and myself, but that I appreciated her dearly, and even offered some words of encouragement (because she had stated lately that she was feeling lonely, and everyone needs some uplifting words from time to time), but she didn’t seem to care, and only accused me of being ‘clingy’ and too much.
Obviously, I will continue to give her space and not reach out to her anymore, because I don’t want to come off as she is describing.
Anyways, sorry for the rant. I care about her very dearly and would like things to be okay between us, but I suppose if it’s God’s will that we’ll be friends, it’ll work out. Any kind of encouragement or advice if appreciated.
Thank you and God bless HS family.