Unless I lived on my own I couldn’t work since my sister needs help for everything and they couldn’t keep her in a hospital either as she cannot live at the same pace as normal people but no one will ever understand that because “”“it’s all in her head”""".
Professionals, doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists can understand that. It’s their job. That’s why someone who has this kind of authority has to determine how much this impacts her life, but also yours, by coming at your home or establish a diagnosis one way or another. And this, regardless of what your parents think - you are a grown adult, they don’t have to discuss this kind of decision.
How I see it is, your sister needs a medical examination to receive a proper diagnosis of what she has + how much it impacts her capacity to handle daily life, and how much dependant she is to others around her. I mean, if she can’t live on her own, this could fall in the criterias of a disability, even if it’s just like 50%, it still is something. And getting this can open doors to many other things. Such as financial help, medical help, at home services (like a nurse). Or, indeed, an admission to a mental health institution - which is, as I see how your parents behave with her, something that would be positive.
There’s more and more invisible and chronic diseases that are known and recognized as such. Professional burnout for example. As said before it’s not easy to get this kind of recognition, but not impossible either.
The truth is no one can take care of her except me because no one understands her health issues.
You’ve been giving so much of yourself to your sister. It’s remarkable. But you are not the only one who can help her and understand her. That is, unfortunately, a truth that you have to accept too. I know it’s scary. Because who knows who would try to help her, if they’re not going to make things worse? But somehow we have to have some faith in the fact that some people out there are willing to do their job well. And are able to understand, especially because they are qualified for that. PTSD is now well-known among mental health professionals. Such as phobias, anxiety, depression… it’s more common than we think.
Also, a major point here is: you provide her for her needs. But in the meantime she’s not healing or working on her struggles. That’s why she needs therapy. Otherwise, indeed, it’s not going to change.
You are not stuck with her forever. But I understand how it feels to help someone who’s relying 100% on you. I’ve been in this position with a family member. It was less intense, but it was really burdening sometimes. And it was a long process to get the right help.
There’s a terrible lack of recognition for the of work and energy you devote to your sister. But I want you to know that we see it here.
Two other possibilities I didn’t mention:
- You’re what we call a “Aidant Proche” in french. Maybe looking after associations of Aidants Proches could help too. Often times, it’s groups of people who are providing help for a family member who is stuck in a relation of dependency. They may have right resources as well to suggest you. And it’s probably possible to contact some groups by email or through online platforms.
- To contact her health insurance to have some guidance through this. Or, if she doesn’t have any, local social security services.
Sorry if it’s a bit overwhelming to list all those things. It’s just some doors you can definitely try to push, and see how it goes. I know it’s unfair that you’re the one doing this. It shouldn’t be like this. And I can tell, your sister is lucky to have you. But she also needs to receive help from someone else. So you live your life too.
At this point might as well kill myself. The only one who could have done something is that guy she met but I don’t know what to do with him and I feel uncomfortable asking about this again here.
I remember what you said about this person. Maybe you could still try to contact them. I mean, at worst you don’t get any answer, at best you have one. But I have to say, be prepared that this person doesn’t want to hold this responsability, as it’s objectively an important one.
She was supposed to make an appointment with a doctor who might be able to help her but we’ll have to wait months before she can see him
That sounds to be super positive - despite the delay. Is he a specialist or something, to need to wait months before she can see him?
I hope you can have some rest today by the way.