I just wanna kill myself. I just wanna die. I just wanna leave everyone behind and die. Things are so hard. I’m just an ungrateful piece of shit. I’m a fucking retarded person. Everything I do is wrong. My life has no meaning. I don’t mean anything to anybody. I’m just a problem for everyone’s lifes. First of all my parents I just waste their money and time. If I had a kid like me I would literally disown me. I’m literally a nobody I have no worth. I’m already old enough to think for myself and I just act like a fucking child. I make no sense. I seriously get it why everyone leaves me after a while. I’m probably one of the worst people. Honestly a murderer is better than me. How can this happen. It’s like… Since I was a fucking kid I knew something were wrong with me. It was obvious. Me, my family… Idk something is off. Idk wtf happened but I know one thing I’m a failure. Im probably so creepy too imagine all those people who have met me honestly I feel so sorry for them… I don’t actually do. I don’t have feelings I’m a monster. LITERALLY. I always say to myself ah yes I feel so bad about those people oh I have sympathy oh maybe I do have a heart. That’s actually hilarious I’m even lying to myself holy shit I literally don’t deserve this. WHY WHY WHY.why the fuck do I have a house and food and whatever I DONT FUCKING DESERVER THIS SHIT I really don’t I’m a fucking Egoistical piece of shit. I JUST WANNA HEAR THE TRUTH FROM SOMEBODY ELSE JUST SAY IT TO MY FACE. “Annie you’re disgusting kys already” just that. or maybe a small insignificant criticism maybe. YEAH. JUST BE FUCKING HONEST FFS. I hate how good people are and yes people are nice. And yes most people have feelings and everything happens for a reason honestly I don’t hate anyone that’s surprising actually from a monster like me. I honestly can’t hate anyone. Except myself of course yk. Maybe that’s the point maybe everything is a lie it’s all in my imagination this is a dream this is a test. Or maybe everything is as simple as it is. I’m just a fucking scumbag an outcast a social reject the mistake of humanity. Am I really overdramatic am I just overreacting is this just another crisis. I doesn’t matter because I’m honest even if I’m literally just tripping rn Ik I SWEAR THAT’S THIS IS ONE OF THE TRUEST THINGS I’VE WROTE. yeah I feel so ashamed rn I’ll probably delete this and go to sleep. Or perhaps I should just kill myself rn. Maybe. The thing is I don’t wanna kill myself bc my life is bad or because wow everything is miserable NO I just wanna do a favor to my family, friends… Etc whatever I just wanna make them happy. Because with a person like me you could never be happy tbh. Yeah that’s the truth. I literally hate myself bc I’ll literally forget about this and I’ll go back to trying not to hate myself. BUT THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING POINT ITS NOT FFS. THE FUCKING POINT IS TO END THINGS. YES I SHOULD END THIS ALREADY I GUESS MAYBE JUST SLEEP FOR ONE LAST TIME IDFK
Hey Annie,
It sounds like you’re really going through a rough time right now and I hope you stay safe. I hear you. I’ve read each word of your post and I hear all of the anger, hatred and frustration you’re feeling about yourself. It’s like an intense, devastating storm inside of your mind right now, and I want to encourage you to stay safe while this storm pass. Just a friendly reminder that decisions shouldn’t be made when we’re feeling things that are so intense.
Did anything provoke all of those thoughts today? Something that happened in your life? Or something that was said to you? We can talk about it if you want. I don’t know you, but I don’t believe you are all of those things you’ve said about yourself. I think you are hurting, and that makes a huge difference. There is what you’re going through and there’s who you are, which are not the same, friend.
If you don’t want to talk here, that’s okay too by the way. But please consider reaching out to a crisis line or to someone you trust if you keep having those thoughts about hurting yourself. You don’t deserve any harm. Know that someone cares out there and want you to be okay. You’re not alone.
Thanks I guess. But you don’t get it. You just want me to stop feeling like this. You can’t accept the truth. And it’s ok no one does. I’m a failure a piece of shit. I’m technically a murderer, I cause people pain and suffer. You don’t even know me. Thanks for your little cute supportive paragraph but istg that doesn’t help.
You just want me to stop feeling like this.
You own your emotions and your thoughts. I’ll never pretend to change that. If you’re willing to challenge those thoughts about yourself, this community is here to help. But it requires your participation.
I don’t believe you took the time to post this here by mistake. If you’re willing to discuss, it’s totally possible. It’s a two-way process though. And no one can cross the limits that you wouldn’t want to be crossed. It’s up to you.
My only wish right now is to learn to know you better. To understand what makes you call yourself a murderer and so many other things. What you did to deserve that title. Because if I don’t know you, then I objectively don’t have any reasons to believe that you’re the worst person on Earth either.
Alright I’m willing to discuss it. But please be honest and real with me. Don’t feed me with lies like everyone else does
Being honest, alright. Sounds pretty fair to me. I can do that.
On your end, I’ll ask you to keep in mind that I have my own voice too, which means we can disagree about something - and that’s 100% okay.
So you mentioned several times that you’re a monster/too creepy and you’ve hurt some people. Would you like to share what makes you say that? Is it something you did, said, thought, or just a general behavior?
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