They Don't Believe Me (TW: rape)

I can’t believe I’m here posting this. Some of y’all have read about my history in other posts, but nothing like this really.
When i was 13 i was raped by a 17-year-old, and he knew i was in a very bad place mentally. I had almost been in a relationship with him, and immediately afterwards I came up with an excuse to break it all off and return all of his stuff. Not long afterwards my mom noticed I was being secretive and acting weird, so she went through my phone but couldn’t figure it out. I came out to her about the rape. We immediately went to police to file a report (at 1 am) but my mind was blurry, and I cared for him, so it ended up with details being left out. Almost a year later my case was closed, the police not believing me. Actually, it was split between the station. But now I’m here, two years later, watching Anatomy of a Scandal. It makes me want to go to court, actually plead my case and go into detail about what happened. I don’t know what to do. I’m just so distressed and angry. Please help.

xxx RedRain

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Hi RedRain,

I’m so sorry that you experienced that, It’s horrible. I was raped too very young, so I understand.

I think the only thing you can do is get a lawyer and see what your legal options are.

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Hi RedRain
What happeded must have been really terrifying. Especially when you were just 13. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am not very well versed in the US laws myself so I have to agree with @Mystrose here. Seeing a lawyer and discussing what can be done is probably the best thing you can do. However make sure to take care of yourself first ok. I know you may feel ready to talk about what happened but it is never easy. I really hope you will find a way to seek justice. Wishing you all the luck I can Red rain :heart:

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Hello there! I am sorry to hear that. And don’t worry, we believe you. And like Mystrose and Ashwell said you can contact a lawyer for it. A lawyer could help a lot. I wish my best wishes to you. :slight_smile:

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From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Friend, I applaud you for finding the strength to go through these memories again and to start sharing them with people you don’t know. Going through these painful memories again is actually something to help you cope and become a better, more complete version of yourself, despite what happened in the past. The thing that matters most is your mental and physical health as well as your safety in future relationships. While I’m not personally familiar with something like this, I have two personal female friends that have gone through this situation. What they did was find professional help from therapists to help sort through the situation and build the case because your brain, as a coping mechanism, forgets details about a traumatic experience to help you live a normal life. Not only will this help you reclaim (:grimacing: ) your happiness, but also gives people who have gone through similar experiences the strength to find their own happiness too. You got this, stay strong!

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From: Ash

My friend I am so sorry that this happened to you. I know that this type of situation is never easy nor is it fun. I personally have gone through this and through the police not believing me and sadly had them turn the event against me long story there. I want to encourage you to know that you are not fighting this alone. You are a warrior among many who will stand by you. Not sure your location but I know for sure here in the USA unless charges were filed on someone they can not officially close a case of sexual assualt or rape it just remains open but not active. So you can go back and add to what you said. You also should know that you have the right to ask for a victim advocate as well. I know that this seem harder and easier said than done but if you truly want to do this it will help you. I know also that memories of traumatic events like that can at the beginning be foggy and not entirely there. Why sometimes those who have had that type of event happen come forward so much later in life about it. Hold fast Ash

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Hi @RedRain, Thank you so much for being so brave and for trusting us enough to share this very sad and heart wrenching story with us here. You have been through so much in your short life its no wonder you get distressed, you must go through countless emotions evey day.
You did not deserve what that guy did to you and I am so unbelieveably glad you were able to go to your Mum and that she took you straight to the police station, It is however understandable that your emotions took over during the interview, it is not something I have had to do but the fact that you have to talk about something so private, so intense, so upsetting and with people in authority that you fear will judge you instead of the person you are making the complaint about. I know these days they do try so much harder to make people feel more comfortable when reporting these crimes but they still have a very long way to go to make people feel safe enough.
I do not know what the rules are about whether or not you could go into it again? you certainly should look into it if that is what you feel you want to do,as @Ashwell says get some legal advice, call a helpline and ask a few questions.
Ulitmately please try to take care of yourself, maybe give journalling a try if you dont already (i may have already suggested this) I really think that it could be helpful to you to get some of thes unpleasant thoughts out and onto paper but most importantly out of your head even if its just for a short time. Redrain, you are so valued, you are important and you are loved.
Lisa xx

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