It’s been three years since my one friend passed away. I thought I would be over it now but there is a part of me that misses her and wishes I could hear her voice one more time and hang out again. It sucks that she is gone and I have photos and memories but I wish I could see her and I am scared that one day I will forgot what she looks or sounds like. What still gets me is when I found out and up until I was at her funeral I was in a state of shock and was completely numb but then at her funeral I saw a picture and it was how I wanted to remember her. Happy and full of life and not in pain or suffering. The next picture I saw was of the two of us being goofy and that was when I lost it. I couldn’t keep it together anymore and was straight up balling my eyes out. I remember when it was time to say goodbye I was still crying and when I went to go talk to her mom I remember her hugging me and saying, “Please don’t cry sweetheart I just thank you for loving my daughter.” I cried when she said that. Throughout that first year I was able to work with my school counselor and campus minister which helped me to process and gain closure. Now three years later coming up on the anniversary I have the same feelings again and trying to navigate them. Sadly I cannot reach out to either the school counselor or campus minister because it is summer break. I guess what I am wondering is will I ever fully move on and when does it fully become less painful?
I’m very sorry for loss, my condolences.
I understand that…
It is really difficult when losing someone very close, especially when you spend a lot of time with them where you have memories too.
It’s normal to miss someone that are no longer around in our lives.
It takes time to recover and accepting the fact that there are no longer around.
It’s never easy to heal from it.
I lost my grandmother who took care me when I was little and my grandfathers but…I keep those memories where I spend time with them.
I even looked back picture of them and smiled. Sometimes, I even cry about it thinking of them.
I want to say that…
Yes, It is scary that one day that you forget how the person sounds or looks too…
I have picture in album to remind me of them and looking back memories to remind me of them.
I’ll be honest…Sometimes, I forget their voices but, trying to keep them in mind because, they were someone important close to my heart where I don’t want to forget them at all.
Your friend too, she’s very close to your heart too.
Even if, she’s no longer around, she will always be in your heart.
It is what my teacher told me when I motioned that I was crying about my grandfather passed away.
I believe that things will get better with time where it will be less painful, maybe, not right but, eventually.
It’s still possible to fully move on but, it will take step by step and time too.
It’s going to be alright, it’s okay that…it is still taking time to recover.
I hope that things will get better on your side
Take care, sending lots of hugs
-LostWings
P.S
Here are some suggestive advice/tips:
T4: “Try To Trust Time” (An advice from a good person),
From what you motioned, it has been three years that your friend passed away.
It’s normal that you still miss her when she’s no longer around.
This advice is self-explanatory but, it is trusting time to recover.
It’s okay to let your emotions out,
It’s normal to feel grief when losing someone close.
Sometimes, there’s a moment that you need to let all this sadness out and, that’s completely okay.
If you kept it inside for too long, it ends up like bottle up in a jar, it will become too much to handle.
Talking to someone about it,
It can be with a family member or friends.
Talking with them about good/happy memories that you spend time together.
Maybe, they have advice/tips on how to cope with the grief losing someone in their lives.
Remember the good moments that you spend with this person,
It is where you remember the happy moments that you spend time with them,
What feeling was it?
Where’s was it?
What did you do with her at that moment?
Journal
It can be helpful where you write on how are you feeling currently and much more like advice/tips to help you recover from the loss of someone close.
The questions of "Remember the good moments that you spend with this person " can be written down here too!
You can write down what do you remember of this person to keep good memories that you spend time with her or placing picture the two of you where you have spend time together.
Thank you I have been journaling and have been listening to songs that remind me of her. I know I wish I could see her again but I have to accept that it is not possible. I know as long as I still have my memories I will be okay. I know time will take care of it and it will hurt less I have to remember to process it.