Okay hi me again, so I’m having a really really hard time dealing with my depressive thoughts. I haven’t been able to catch a break lately with all the things running through my mind everyday. I feel like no one cares and at the end of the day I know people do but, i still question it. I still find it hard to believe. I feel like I’ve always kinda been my friends second choice. I don’t feel needed or wanted and again, i know these thoughts aren’t true. They still somehow make it into my head though and they’re very convincing thoughts. They’re so consistent and I swear I don’t think i have gone even a minute without having something like this pop in my head it’s constantly there. It’s kinda becoming really overwhelming. It causes me sooo much anxiety and self doubt. I keep losing sleep overthinking things especially today I didn’t fall asleep until 4 and slept through ny alarms so I missed school. I tried to make today as good as I possibly could though. I’m dealing with a lot of family stuff and relationship stuff. Everything is heavy feeling. Suicide every now and then comes to mind more so often then not. I kinda feel like I’m slowly going towards it with each day that passes. I’m still hopeful though because I don’t want things to be this way. Fighting is just getting a lot harder to do. Just when I think things can’t get much heavier they do. I hope my post aren’t getting to annoying? I’m still scared to open up about things and I don’t want to burden anyone with my own weights. This community is definitely helping overcome that fear though. Thanks for taking the time to read this<3
Your post is not annoying. What you are saying makes sense. I have been dealing with depression too, and similar thoughts. It’s a battle for sure. Those thoughts are in your way of bettering yourself. Do your best to reach out. I would say, talk to one person, and it will make a difference. Whether it is a family member, a friend, or someone in this community, share what you have been going through. You are not alone. HeartSupport is here with you and for you. I hope you are having a restful night. Thank you for sharing. Peace. 
Hi Ag07!
I am so happy to hear that this community has helped you. I’m happy you see this community as a safe place that you can come to. That’s really humbling and I just want to let you know we don’t take that for granted.
Things are really hard. Dealing with depression and then not sleeping because of the depression and then slipping at school. That sounds really exhausting. I’m not sure what your home life is like or what your school is like, but do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to? I know you said that it’s really hard for you to open up, but I think it could really help you to talk to someone. It’s really scary, but it also opens up the opportunity for you to get help. You are loved and you deserve a happy, healthy, and full life. Hold fast. We believe in you.
my family doesn’t respond well to these things and Im just so used to keeping to myself. Trying to talk about things genuinely scares the heck out of me. On here though I feel comfortable to be a bit more open. Also i did get rest last night thankfully. Thank you for being so kind and understanding.