Things Have Changed

Hey… it’s been awhile. Several months, in fact.
A lot has happened… one of my friends killed himself… I got reported at school twice and my mother threatened to take me out… I still think about suicide and what I could do to do it cos of life. I don’t know… I’ve been trying to distance myself from my friends since I don’t want to hurt them if I do it. I don’t want them to go through what I’ve gone through.
I almost just want them to not care about me anymore. Since I’m kinda worthless lol.

But mainly I just miss my friend a lot… I hardly knew him but I miss him…
Okay whatever, um, hopefully I don’t forget about this site haha

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Hi Max,
thank you for sharing your toughts. i am sorry to hear that, my toughts are with you.
It is hard to go on after that, i can only imagine. that you miss your friend, even tough knowing him, is
only human. you care.
be strong for the people that you love, they love you also. they will miss you like you miss your friend.
open up about your worries in life, your struggles. have you tried to considering a therapy ?
a self help group ? or hopefully you are aware that they are resources out there to help you.
there is so many beauty out there in life. think about that. you are worth every breath and i hope your friends
are there for you, they will if you let them.
you took a big step here, so i am proud of you my friend. let us know how you are doing, how you are
feeling.
we are here for you, anytime. you matter and you deserve everything good that this world has to offer.
you are worth all of this, thanks a lot. feel hugged and loved,
Greetings

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Hey, thanks for reaching out to me.
I do want to get therapy but my parents won’t let me/cannot afford to.
I still feel a little sad today I won’t be able to talk to my friends a lot tomorrow since they have schoolwork and stuff but I’m trying.
Thanks, I do feel loved and I really appreciate it.

From: ManekiNeko

I’m so so terribly sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to lose a friend, especially in a way that is so painful and raw. Right now you’re in that grief process and the hurt is probably pulling you in all distractions.
I hope that you consider reaching out for help. You have so much value and you matter incredibly. I’m going to add a list of resources for you if you feel you want to use them or look into them. No pressure of course, but I do want you to know that you are loved and your worth is infinite.
HeartSupport Community Resources - Google Sheets

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Hi, thanks for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for the list of resources I’m looking at it right now and I’ve found some really helpful sources like the I Prevail song in the suicide section and other stuff. I’l make sure to come back to this link whenever I’m feeling like this again <3

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I’m so glad that it’s helped, max! I’m so glad you’re here, genuinely. Please feel free to come and talk whenever you need x

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From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Max, I’m really sorry to hear that this happened to your firned and that you’re going through suicidal thoughts… I’ve been there and know how it feels to feel worthless. Thing is, the fact that you came here to post this tells me that you have something to offer others that are struggling, too… you’re not alone. Depression and suicidal thoughts suck. They take all the energy out of you and life becomes even harder than it was before… but take a second and think of yourself as a child… your own child. your one and only child. If that little person that’s a smaller version of you was dealing with what you’re dealing with, what would you do? Would you continue to tell them that they’re worthless, that they should kill themselves, that they should give up? Or would you make sure that kid has the help, support, and encouragement they need to live they’re best and most fulfilled life? I hope you would be there for the kid, but at any rate, that little kid should be how you talk to and treat yourself. How would things be different if this were the case? Keep your head up friend, you got this.

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