If you read my last post, this is a bit of an update. My heart hurts, but I will be okay. I am now single…again. Sam and I talked about our relationship. We both have things that we need to work on as individuals. We haven’t talked since. I am thankful that he was an adult to have a convo with me about things and not just end things without an explanation.
I have tried to mend ties with Paul and Bailey. Paul told me that I went about things with Sam in such a bad way that the friendship will not be repaired. Bailey never replied to my message. I could have done better, but I cannot change what happened and how things played out. I have accepted this as an oversight on my part. It is something that I have to accept.
My best friend is in the middle of all of this. We hardly talk or interact anymore. I have tried to help things go back to how they used to be. They interact more with Paul and Bailey than me anymore these days. I have accepted the fact that I cannot force someone to be in my life, on any kind of level. If someone wants to be in your life as a friend or a partner, they will make you a priority.
At the end of the day, I am left with questions that swirl around in my mind. Am I too difficult to love? Why does no one ever truly stay? Why do I love the way that I do, even though I know I will get hurt in the end?
I am an emotional wreck lately. I have good days. I have bad days. I wish I could see the clearing through the trees, sooner rather than later. Anyways, sorry for rambling. Thank you for reading this post, if you did. I appreciate you!
- StarFox
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Oh star, I’m so sorry things followed this path. I am proud of you and him for handling things so maturely, because I know that emotions can cause us to go through those grieving stages of anger and of denial.
I know this hurt is real and it feels like not only the loss of this relationship of love, but also those friendships.
You definitely are worthy of love, it’s hard when love holds hurt, it’s hard when love holds uncertainty. Love can also hold special moments. It comes in many forms and I hope you feel the love we have for you. The respect and love we hold towards you.
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Hi there @StarFox,
You are wonderful and deserve so much love. Hurt like this is incredibly impactful, and I can only imagine how hard it must be to have fallen out with so many people close to you in this short time. There really are no adequate words for times like these. With that said, it sounds like you’re moving forward in the best manner possible, having tried to mend ties and staying respectful with Sam around your relationships.
While I’m sure it doesn’t feel this way now, things will get better. You will be able to build up new relationships with time, even though the meantime is so tough.
You matter so much. You are beyond kind. You have always been someone I deeply respect and appreciate in SWAT.
Thank you for being here and for sharing your struggles with us. Please keep us updated. We’re here for you.
<3 Tuna
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Sweet beautiful Star, my heart hurts for you. I am so sorry that things have come to an end with Sam. I too am thankful that you both managed to talk about it and end things in the best way possible but that does not stop it hurting. It sounded when you spoke about him that you truly gave your all and maybe that is why things a difficult with Paul and Bailey now, I know that I myself if I got in to a relationship everything else was on hold, nothing else mattered except that person and making it work. I dont know if you can relate to that caused a few friendships to end for me. I want to say how unfortunate it is for them to not have you in their lives, you are truly an incredible person, there is not one thing that I can see that makes you difficult to love. I dont know why you love the way you love, you love the way star know how to to love and I have read hundreds and hundreds of loving words you have written and there is nothing wrong with how you love and my friend as for hurt, I dont know why you get hurt, it is certainly not because you deserve it. I dont know if there is a perfect person for everyone out there but if there is maybe this happens until you meet them. Its a very unpleasant journey if that is the case but if in the end you meet your perfect life partner maybe you will look back and not care??? You know we are here for you Star, always please dont sit alone. you are loved so much. Lisa xxxx
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dearest star,
your swat fam is here to send you the unconditional love and support you give to so many. it’s understandable for you to face those questions i feel most people ask themselves after a break-up of any kind, friendship or relationship. but i want you to also challenge those questions. you have a heart that’s full of love. you also have a heart that is able to be loved. sure, not everyone stays - that’s just part of life and dating. these experiences with past partners may leave burns and cracks on your heart… but you’re still you and you are not difficult to love. i’m even gonna pull a starfox and share a quote (there are so many good ones to choose from), get ready for this:
“It takes a lot of strength to mend a broken heart. Being able to accept situations for what they are instead of questioning them [and yourself] helps immensely.”
so while you heal from these turbulent relationships with both your best friend and sam, take care of your heart. you have the strength within you to heal and stand back up again but for right now, be easy on yourself. do the small things that bring you joy, watch movies that spark some laughter or nostalgia, get your fav food to-go and eat it in a local park (if the weather doesn’t suck). take care of you as the priority right now so that clearing through the trees can be more visible. love comes, love goes, but your heart will always remain as golden as ever. the right one will come along, i have no doubt in my mind that the right fit for THE starfox will enter your life and turn these bad days into a distant memory. but for now, heal that heart and do what you need to in order to believe in the truth that you are worthy of love. you got this, star, you always have and always will. i believe in you with all i got.
love,
twix
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