I’ve been thinking about ending my self harm clean streak for a while now. About a month actually. It’s been taking a lot of energy to actually not go through with it. That energy is depleting quicker and quicker as the span of time increases. I want so badly for that emotional release and control. Right now I feel like I’m losing control of so many things in my life and I just need to control something. This is what I can control. I don’t want to do it, but I might not have a choice pretty soon given how fast that energy is disappearing. I’m trying my hardest to fight it off and I’m scared my effort is going to end up being all for nothing.
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What made you quit self-harming?
I can tell you that self-harming does not give you control of anything and I think you know this. I think self-harming is what you do when you’re out of control to be honest and it makes things worse because after you realize you’ve relapsed and it creates a whole new problem for you.
I self-harmed for a long time and all I got out of it were scars. It didn’t help me at all.
I really encourage you to use the same coping skills you’ve been using, instead of self-harming. I know how hard it is, but I really believe that you can get thru this without it.
You are loved and you matter!
From: ManekiNeko
that feeling of being in control isn’t real. Unfortunately that feeling is the one controlling you. I felt very much the same when I’m the middle of it. I thought if I couldn’t control the world around me, I could control this one thing at least. But it just brought more sorrow and pain.
what do you really feel after harming yourself? Is it real relief and satisfaction or is it the thoughts telling you that you deserve to hurt?
we will be here for you and will never be disappointed in you, but we do want you to be able to heal from this pain you’re going through in a safe way. Maybe it’s time to reach out and talk to someone about this. You matter x