This is frustrating/ annoying

I’ve been vegan for 4 years now and I told him that vegans live longer and he called me a lier and said that there is health benefits from having dairy and meat (chicken, cows, fish,lamb,)( etc.)

I got so frustrated, that my brother thinks that he knows more than I do about everything and he keeps treating me like I’m a stupid idiot.


From Mystrose: I’m sorry your brother argues with you about being a vegan after you’ve been one for 4yrs. I’m sure you’ve done your research and found true facts.

I see a couple things you can do. You can ask him if he’d like some information and educate him. You can sit down together and look at the facts. This might help him to understand better. You can also just ignore him when he makes comment like that if it upsets you. Some people don’t want to listen or learn, so it’s harder to get thru to them. I don’t know your brother, but I hope he would give you a chance to teach him.

It sucks when our belief system is challenged and I’m sorry he has done that to you. You deserve to have peace of mind and you matter.

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From Rohini_868: it’s tough when you believe in something and others don’t. It’s far more effective to show them, than to tell. Make yummy food, be happy and glowing from all the veggies and fruits, and eventually someone will ask you what you’re doing to feel so good. Offer to share some yummy snacks with them, not to try to convert them, but if they want to try something new. It’s easy to want to convince others, but people resists change a lot. Especially when it comes to food, everyone has the right to make their choices. Arguing doesn’t work. Snacks work better lol.

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post. Brothers can be a bit annoying cant they and I am sure sisters probably can too, I only had a brother and he was a nightmare, he would say anything he could just to wind me up, to upset me and make so angry and then one day someone said to me that when my brother was saying all those things and waiting for me to get annoyed or upset that I should just smile and walk away and I thought that was a really silly idea but I tried it and it worked, it took a couple of times but in the end he was bored becasue I wasnt getting upset anymore and he stopped annoying me. I think deep down your brother knows that you know the health benefits of being a vegan, I think hes probably just trying to annoy you and right now its working. try smiling and walking away.
You know what you know and that is all that matters. Look after yourself. Much Love Lisa. x

The dichotomy between the two of us is vastly different there nothing that I can tell him. He has to be right all the time he never admits that he is wrong, he gets absolutely defeated and frustrated and throws a tantrum. I don’t start arguing it’s not my fault he instigates it I hate confrontation I don’t like arguing and I don’t like fighting.

I tried the whole smiling and walking away bit, and he
still finds ways to infuriate me.

As for the health benefits of me being vegan, he has no respect for it or me and I’ve been nothing but patient with him. The dichotomy between the two of us is vastly different there nothing that I can tell him. He has to be right all the time absolutely defeated and frustrated and throws a tantrum.

Hi, That is a shame, then perhaps just allow him to have his thoughts however incorrect you believe them to be.
If the two of you cannot agree maybe you should just agree to disagree and not discuss that at all. It will keep some peace at least x

Oh ok, keep my beliefs about veganism and being vegan straight edge, to myself, um… ok…

I’m sorry he’s treating you in a way that makes you feel stupid, you’re certainly not, and I do hope you know that too.
For me personally if someone initiates a conversation to debate something and I know they aren’t going to really listen or that they just want an argument I try to tell them that I would be happy to share information with them if they are genuinely interested, but I don’t want to make arguments or have to defend myself for my personal choices. How do you think he would respond to something like that?
I can see how it would get so frustrating for you though. You have every right to live how you like, especially since it’s not hurting anyone. People get annoyed by things they don’t understand or don’t want for themselves and hopefully he will learn that it’s okay for people to do things differently. I do hope you keep being who you are and doing what you believe in.

He would respond horribly, unfortunately I already tried and it felt like I was living in a neverending nightmare.

I guess you have to weigh up whether you find it worth engaging in the conversation. If you do, then unfortunately you can’t make people not argue or listen, but if it’s getting overwhelming then sometimes it is better to let them have their views and you hold your own. It doesn’t mean that it’s not something you can talk about with others or something that is wrong by any means, it just means he isn’t someone who is going to be a willing participant in it.

perhaps with him yes maybe, from what you said above

maybe he is not the person to have that particular conversation with, that doesnt mean you are wrong and he is right it just means you two clearly cannot have that particular debate.

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From Rohini_868: If he’s not willing to listen, then that is a choice he’s made for himself. Sounds like trying to talk to him about it will not lead anywhere fruitful. Might be time to stop trying to educate or convince him, and let him live his life as he chooses. We can only control what we eat, not what others do.