This is hard but does it not seem as bad?

Sometimes this doesn’t seem as bad as it is. But to others it is . Especially when they care but they don’t know you deal with what you deal with . I deal with my mental health on a daily . There’s days where i’ll be okay then there’s days I’m stressed and a little depressed. First time i ever cut was over the summer going into 8th grade (2014) last time i ever cut was either December 10th or December 12th 2017. yet I’ve overcome that. To this day i haven’t overcame my eating issue. i wish i let people know i was struggling but i just kept it in , i told them i was okay when i felt like i wasn’t. So well, im 105 ish pounds and im 19 … and for the passed days and today haven’t been the best i struggled eating i was forced to take another bite when i didn’t want to. but i did. i let my boyfriend know but i felt like what i had to deal with wasn’t right , my friends who forced me even questioned me and i told them i ate before and it was a small amount and then i get told to take one more . they don’t know my struggles so why ask why i wasn’t wanting to fully eat. does it make me ignorant or selfish i thought this? Well today, i ate a little at lunch and they didn’t even question me about that. I was even stressed before that but i still ate. Then all the sudden my thoughts came back and i told myself silently to “kill myself”. why? i didn’t feel okay it was somewhat hard to even focus on my school work . I have people i can trust but some dont know i struggle and the one i trust doesn’t even know i struggle with eating. What even was the worst part is the administration asked how i was and im like im fine , when i wasn’t. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if i can let people know at my school that i have trouble eating cause i either eat small amounts or i don’t eat at all when i’m upset. any kind of advice will help , i just need something i need answers on why.

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@all_around_ashley

I’m sorry you are not doing good, Ashley. The human mind is tricky. We felt great, and later on, we felt terrible. It’s the same cycle repeats, and it gets exhausting. I’m glad you are sharing your struggles with HeartSupport. The trust is still in you. You are the only one who can share of what it is going on with you. Please, don’t isolate yourself. Keep seeking help. Don’t give up. You are a fighter. You are not alone. Your family and friends, HS, are here with you and for you.

Hey @all_around_ashley, I’m sorry you’re struggling with all of this and I wish I had more insight into the specific situations you’re dealing with. Maybe the next time the administration asks how you’re doing try being honest with them. And I mean this sincerely, try testing the waters with people at your school who are supposed to be the trusted adults and see how it improves your situation in the moment. Your friends just want what is best for you, we all do and we want you to be healthy.

The thing is, im usually honest. the reason why i lied was bc the person who caused me to be stressed was right besides me and i just felt like i was “alone” cause i couldnt find who i could talk to who i trust.

Understood, the sentiment stands that I just hope you’re doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. It’s easy to tell that your struggles are very difficult for you, we all want you do what’s best for you and wish you health and wellness.