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This is killing me

basically everyone in my family is taking turns being rude to me. first, my sister made me feel like shit for failing an interview, saying i should feel bad for asking my mother for food, and that i don’t make any effort to get a job. then my grandmother comes in telling me i never do anything, i’m not trying, and i don’t care about my cat. i walked around town trying to find somewhere to apply, calling every business and 90% it was no and they didn’t even say to fill out an application because well this town is small and they are a local business surviving off of nothing basically. i got two interviews and failed both. i applied to everywhere in town twice (one job even three) and i’m still getting nowhere. i feel like giving up and honestly i cant take people constantly telling me how i’m horrible. yes, i have ocd and i feel guilty about it already, you don’t need to tell me how it’s such a burden to deal with me and how angry you are. i want to hurt myself and i haven’t felt like this in years. i see a therapist (which is constantly threatened to be taken away), but it’s not like she can give me a job or money. every suggestion she had, didn’t go through, which isn’t her fault, it’s just this town and people. i am stuck and have failed.

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hi friend,
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I just wanna say that I’m proud you’re here. I’m proud of you for opening up and I wanna tell you the truth. the truth is that you are worthy of love and acceptance. you are smart and strong. you have the power to get through this and we are here to help you and we are here for you. we want to listen and we want you to know that you’re heard. you are loved, friend. please don’t give up

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thank you so much, i really appreciate that💙

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