From begus: This is not as depressing as the other posts but last time I tried to talk to a girl I liked she made fun of me for trying to do so and called me a freakish school shooter to her friends because I am a quiet kid that never really talks and accused me of sexual assault just because I told people what she said about me. Now I like another girl and I don’t want it to end up like last time. What do I do.
From Rohini_868: liking someone is nice to feel. but we always have to remember that they have the freedom and choice to like us back or not. Don’t expect anything of this person. Get to know her as a friend, to me that’s most important. when you get to know someone as a friend, it’s less stressful. and then you can see if your crush is still there or if it is just friendly feelings, which is also pretty awesome. Listen to what she says and respect her wishes.
From begus: I know I know
How do I introduce myself to her without being obvious
From フェネック (fenn): As Rohini said, get to know her first. Notice if she likes anything like certain games, music, shows etc and be like “hey, I like that ___ too!” if it’s something you’re interested in too.
From Rohini_868: <@700947263010242623> you’ve had a lot going on before. Did you have a think about talking to a therapist first? Just to help you get over the memories of the last girl you tried to talk with? It might be better if you were able to talk it through first, before you try to approach someone new? what do you think about that
From begus: Yea I have talked with a therapist about the former experience
From Rohini_868: did they say anything helpful or useful to you?
From Rohini_868: I think it’s useful for you to focus on yourself for a bit. Instead of trying to figure out how to approach her, it might be more effective if you worked on learning about yourself, what makes you happy, your hobbies etc, and then others will approach you! Romantic relationships at a young age can feel very intense, but we should spend more time on ourselves first, spend some time on studies and so forth.
From Rohini_868: all this to say, it’s nice that you think you like someone. But we don’t always have to act on that. We can feel happy to see them, but know it’s not the right time to try for something more, if that makes sense. what do you think about waiting for a bit, and working more on yourself, learning to be happy and confdent in yourself first, before trying to pursue something else?
Begus, I agree with Rohini on this and I want to also add this site for you to read. Working on your social skills is a good place to start if you struggle with how to approach new people.
Hi there begus,
Thank you for sharing here. I saw your posts about what you’ve gone through at your school and I just need to say “wow” – you’ve been through a lot. The way you’ve been treated is simply horrible and you haven’t done anything to deserve these sorts of insults and accusations. That must have been a ton, and I can understand if it still is weighing on you.
In terms of liking another individual, that can be a “fun” experience, but it also can cause many worries, just like the worry you’re experiencing now! Remember that it’s okay (and even good) to try slowly getting to know people that you like. If you want, you can try talking to them a little bit and possibly build a friendship over time (if they seem interested in becoming friends).
Also, remember that each individual is unique and distinct. It’s exceedingly unlikely for a similar situation to come up again with another person. I’d just suggest trying to take it slow and take it easy on yourself as you’ve recently gone through such a troubling experience.
Thank you for being here and for sharing. I’m glad that you’re here as you work through this.
From Manni XP: Hi, Begus. Thanks for continuing to share here. Liking someone can be really warm and fuzzy, and it’s groovy to hear that you like someone again - especially after your previous experience. I want to encourage you to really take the time to get to know this person before pursuing anything. This may provide the opportunity to gauge compatibility (as friends, or as something else). I also want to encourage you to consider that so much is changing all the time! Please also remember to pay attention to the needs of everyone involved - especially including yourself - and give yourself space as needed.
From begus: How do I get to know them without out it being obvious I like them
From Manni XP: Hi, Begus. How do you ordinarily go about making friends with people?
From begus: Not much
Usually people make friends with me when they see me alone or they want a picture with me in it.
From begus: Other than that I keep to myself. If I want to make friends I sit near people that seem nice and they start talking to me
From Manni XP: Thanks for continuing to share with us. I can’t tell you what to do - especially since I don’t know the person you want to get to know - but it may be worth checking out resources such as the one Mystrose linked earlier~
Making friends can be soooo challenging, especially when you’re still getting to know yourself!