So I thought I had things under control, but I don’t anymore, I feel pretty alone, I’m thinking about checking into a hospital tomorrow, but what will happen has anyone got checked in for mental health, this girl who means the world to me made a good point of my fear of losing my coping mechanism at home to go get help, that it would be just temporary. What happens though? I know I need help I’ve tried telling everyone around me but no one will listen that my mind isn’t ok and o don’t know what to do or where to go from here
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Hey @Donavand,
For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for admitting that you might need more help than you thought lately. It’s really hard to hit this point of realizing that we need more than what we expected at first, especially as it can reactivate some feelings of hopelessness or personal failure. So I hope you know and keep in mind that needing help is okay, and the current situation doesn’t define you or you capacity to heal.
I’ve personally never been in a mental hospital for my own struggles, but I was resolved to do so, several times in the past. However I never dared to do it because I was too scared (being judged, not knowing how it would be, and all the “what if?” questions, you know). So I can’t share any personal experience on this matter, but if you feel that this is what you need at the moment, then it would probably be right to listen to your intuition on this matter. Part of healing is being aware of our needs in the present moment, and making the healthiest decision to address those needs. Sometimes, it means that we have to be in a more neutral environment, where people can take care of us and where we can feel like breathing, like having some relief, just because life and the pressure that comes with it on a daily basis can be overwhelming.
Being inpatient would be temporary though, that’s right. However, if the time spent there is well used, it wouldn’t have to be like a parenthesis in your life either. You might learn different ways to cope there, and have your own takeaways from that specific experience. It is scary because it is new and mostly unknown, but it is still a safe environment where you could be helped differently. Also, you can ask all the questions you need before making any decision. It is also your right to get all the informations you need and will help you to make a decision. Part of doctors job is also to provide the right informations so their patients can use their right of self-determination.
I wish you well through all of this. Know that you’ll be okay, whether you decide to go there or not. And you are not alone. 
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Hi @Donavand
The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here.
Hold fast friend, and lean on our community.
- John
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@HS_John and team and @Micro thanks for the responses, I always look forward to everyone’s thoughts and kind words. I didn’t end up checking myself in, the fear of many things got me to do the opposite. Somehow I just got up today and decided I could do this. I have a few people I reached out to and I got one of the books from heartsupport to start reading tonight. I came to work though, I decided sitting at the hospital would be just more time to sit and be domicile and think of everything more, or they would put me on drugs and as a former addict that seemed worse. So I came to work and just kept going today. I’m still having a hard time but at least here I can keep my brain busy and be pre occupied. I still have no idea what I’m going to do or what’s next but I started I guess just making a plan to idk exist more. I feel like my spirals are driven by isolation, so I went to see a local band play yesterday and I think I’m going to try the gym thing like Jake Luhrs talks about. I am staying in therapy so that’s obviously a great choice and I’m going to be going back to my dr and all to get a recommendation for a psychiatrist. This journey is so weird some days I absolutely feel like I can’t and like I’m alone and then somedays I feel ok. The big thing for me today is like what you guys said in the video, this is temporary and someday after this temporary place in my life I hope I can do what heartsupport does for me for someone else. My story I hope helps build someone back up from where I am now. Today I am here I’m moving forward. Tonight when I’m home and sitting it may be different but right now at work I’m ok and that’s my reminder. I’m ok right now wich means someday I can be ok all the time mostly. I love the heartsupport community it’s been my saving grace a lot talking on here and I’ll continue to be here talking and updating you all and trying to hopefully find my light and give someone else light thank you all again for listening and loving
Me, I love you all!
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Hey @Donavand,
Thank you so much for the updates. It seems that you really took your time to weigh the pros and cons - well done! You have indeed some very valid reasons to favor staying at home instead of going to the hospital. However, and just in case, keep in mind that no decision is absolute, and you can always reconsider it whenever you feel the need to. It wouldn’t you make any less brave or strong, and we just like your loved ones would never think any less of you.
In any case, we’re standing by your side and will keep supporting you through your decisions! You’re not alone, friend.
I’m glad to hear that you’re giving a try to a HS book by the way. I’ve read a couple of them, and currently exploring another one. These are good resources, and if you need or want to talk about it, feel absolutely free to use the forum as well. It’s not an obligation. Just a friendly invitation, as sometimes sharing helps us to keep some kind of accountability. In case you didn’t know yet, there are specific categories dedicated to the different workbooks, and if you want you can share your responses, thoughts or initiate conversations there as well. You can get access to each category through the following post:
https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/heartsupport-workbooks/15614
You sharing your story is also inspiring to every person who has the privilege to read your words. Thank you once again for your trust and your vulnerability. We’re in this with you. We believe in you. You’ll make it through, one day after another. 
Hey Friend,
I don’t think I’ve resonated with someone’s words so much in a very long time. You feel like you’ve finally built up the control over your life that you’ve wanted for so long and then in the blink of an eye, it’s gone! You feel defeated and alone. And it sucks, I’m not going to tell you it’s easy. What I will say though is keep fighting.
One of the biggest steps you can make is admitting that you need help. That’s not a weakness it shows strength, its shows that you have some sort of hope for the future. So hold on to it, hold onto it for dear life my friend.
As far as experience in a mental hospital, I’ve been a few times. And I have to say that they are all very different. But generally speaking, you will be at the hospital, and you will talk to a psychologist over a video screen. They’ll ask you questions about what’s going on. At that point they will decide if you need to go in for inpatient. If they do, they will begin to look for placement. That can sometimes take a few days. At that point you’ll get driven in an ambulance to the psych hospital. And you will have to go through intake, they’ll talk to you, give you a run down etc. Then you’ll be taken to your room, you’ll meet the staff team. Usually there’s two staff team members on the unit and a nurse, but it depends on how big the unit is. They’ll have groups usually 4-5 times a day you’ll have to go to. You’ll see your psychiatrist daily, and sometimes a social worker daily as well. At that point the psychiatrist, therapist and staff will discuss on when they believe you’ll be ready to go home. Usually the staff write up notes, about whether or not you’re participating in groups, etc. One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give is, if you feel like you need to go, GO! Also don’t worry about when you get there, when you’ll be able to go home, focus on getting better!
So please go get help! Make choices for yourself, no matter what everyone else says, making healthy choices for yourself is good!
Hold Fast,
Monkey
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