Thoughts 2/4/23

Honestly, I kept saying horrible stuff about my ex friend to my mother. Calling her awful names and say mess stuff about. It because I’m hurt with her and I want her back.


Does your mother know that you are venting and the reason why?

She know everything, also she know I’m upset. But I gotta I do make my ex friend look like evil person. Like you know, different shades of gray of situation. You can say two sides to story and truth is in the middle.

The problem I say alot incel crap, I say disgust word’s because I’m upset, not because I mean them. This why I’m not social media now. Because I will say something will good in the moment and wanna hurt my ex friend feelings or make her feel like shit. But I know will regret it and can’t take it back.

I can’t get out habit of saying nasty stuff about women. Because I get paranoid that they using me. And I don’t what reality is.

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I can bring up memories of things that happened many years ago, and get upset all over again. That’s how the mind works. A clear memory triggers the brain very much as though what was remembered is still happening. A lot of people say they cannot forgive because they are still upset by the bad memory. Forgiveness is a decision, not evidence of emotional release. It may or may not diminish feelings connected to a bad memory.

Hopefully you will come to a point where you can ask yourself, “do I have to keep thinking about this?” Or, “Will it help me to keep thinking about this?”

Couples do tend to use each other for emotional support, and sometimes other things as well. It’s actually in our DNA to instinctively view a potential mate in terms of their potential to provide support and/or make a home. So, maybe it’s not paranoia, but recognition of mating psychology.

That’s actually a very wise observation. No person has more than their own interpretation of reality, and as far as I can tell, no one fully comprehends it.

Have you noticed that when you are feeling bad or in a bad mood, it seems like those around you are also on edge or acting shitty? Their moods may seem very real to you, hence your perception of their moods becomes your “reality.” However, the actual truth may be that they are distracted, thinking about their next vacation or something like that.

I think the best we can do is to consider multiple ways of looking at things, and deciding on what we consider to be the likely reality. Then we need to remain sufficiently open-minded to change our perception if necessary, based on additional information.