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Time for me to go (update: I'm okay)


#1

UPDATE: I’m okay

I’ve given my heart to everyone who needed a little bit of love. But I always got it back with an extra scratch or crack. I’ve done everything in my power to make everyone happy. But even that is something I’m not able to do anymore. I’m too tired. Tired of helping people. Tired of trying to make myself happy again and trying to be healthy. It’s too much.

There are a lot of people around me that broke my soul. More than there were people who actually cared. I know you guys care. You don’t have to tell me that. But there are a lot of people out there that are still trying to break me. That will never stop.

Not only other people break me. I can blame myself too. My mind is playing tricks I can’t handle. I’m constantly fighting my own thought and it’s ripping me apart. So it’s not only the fault of other people, it’s mine too.

I tried to fix myself. But this broken girl can’t be fixed. This heart is too weak to go on. I’m too weak to go on.

I’m sorry I fuck everything up and I’m sorry for bothering you guys with it. I’m sorry I’m so weak and fucked up. I’m sorry for being so freaking complicated. I’m sorry.

It’s time for me to go.
You’re loved.
Bye.


#2

DON’T write yourself off LittleNerd! You have a PURPOSE on this planet, you just dont see it yet! For those people who are trying to bring you down and break you, CUT ALL TIES WITH THEM. You don’t need them in your life! You believe your broken and you can’t be FIXED? There are many people within this community who can most likely relate to you on this. Many of us here in the community can also say they’re f*ck ups as well (myself included). NO ONE is perfect. We don’t have to be & it’s OK.

Hold Fast!


#3

Hey there friend!
I just want to say that it’s okay to feel like that. I understand that feeling of burnout. But the best i can tell is learn to rest, not to quit. Take some time for yourself, take a nap, make tea, listen to some positive music, pray (if you want), and let yourself be loved. You are loved so infinitely. I understand we all have burdens to carry in our lives, but you are only human. There’s only so much you can take and that’s okay! Personally, i let God take my burdens and help me out when it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders lol. He’ll help you too if you want friend.
It’s a blessing to have you here in this world, i know i haven’t met you personally, but i’m blessed that you’re here. That you’re not afraid to share what you’re going through. There is so much more ahead than the darkness you see.
I understand. I understand so much how you feel. we love you.
Never forget, you are worth more than you could ever know. <3
hold fast


#4

#5

Then concentrate on helping yourself. This is what I did when I was in my 20’s. I am 38 now. It took me a decade and 3 years to now be able to work on the actual goals towards my future. Those 13 years were all spent on trying to learn about myself, my mental health & what broke me plus the triggers to my hurt. Maybe this is what you need to do. (If you need steps towards how to do it let me know)

You are correct. The reason being people are ignorant (whether naive or willingly). Don’t base your actions on the actions of others. Never compare yourself to others. When you hurt or get hurt badly whether from circumstances or by others. This pain won’t go away. Worse if you decide to kill yourself there is absolutely no proof the suffering you endure will go away. The only thing proven is a lot of issues that are unresolved Stay unresolved. People that try to hurt you don’t deserve your focus or attention. Cut them out of your life. You can’t stop hurting, but one thing that is possible is that you can alleviate your pain.

This is my problem. I can comprehend what you’re going through. You need to learn to accept yourself. Once you do. You can learn to forgive yourself for the parts that you’re at fault for. I am currently in the process of doing this.

Why are we so obsessed with being fixed or perfect? What is so great about it? I’ve seen these so-called Perfect or Unbroken people. The grass is always greener on the other side. Let me tell you something. I’m broke. I might even take my life in the future. I’m not entirely sure. What I do know is that I will rather be as broken as I am than be like the people considered “normal” or “undamaged”. Why? I can relate to this community and communities similar to this one. I’ve met some awesome people that are broken. Some of them found some happiness and the will to live.

You’re human not a fuck up. You are not a burden. You’re not weak either. So what if you’re complicated. That makes you unique. Don’t ever apologize for sharing your thoughts or hurt.

I hope only the best for you and all the light & positivity. Blessed Be.