So I know I have been hear a lot lately but it is because right now I can’t lay my shit on anyone else in my circle. I’m finding a lot of ways to manage my stress. Since I’ve been told I need to change my diet and exercise so that I am not at risk of being diabetic, I’ve been making new healthy meals I’ve never had before. I have found that I’ve missed cooking for pleasure. I’ve found that it’s therapeutic. I’ve also been doing arts and crafts with or at the same pace as my best friend who is going through it mentally. We’ve been doing puzzles, cross-stitching, diamond painting, and we even are about to bake random stuff. I’d be doing most of the baking while my friend either watch in awe or join in when she’s ready.
Now I’m getting so stressed out that I am doing multiple projects and even less socializing unless it’s with my friend. At this current time being I am still not sleeping right. I’m getting up cranky or unmotivated. I still have a month before my sleep study at the hospital. I’m getting tired of doing my job and what’s insane is I love my job because I am home. But today I called off because my sister had a funny fake emergency (drunken argument with her fiance, and I believe, soon to be ex). She called me 8 times between 2am and 4 am. I was irritated because any noise, light, or movement/vibration wakes me. Well those calls woke me and pissed me straight the hell off. It pissed me off because this is always an issue. Drunken fights between them, she always wants someone to pick her up on the spot just to return back to the house to rinse and repeat. And if no one flies to her aide, she hates us all.
It’s really wearing me out trying to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves while I am dealing with my own shit. I’m still fighting against having a drink, quitting my job, insomnia, and the loneliness that’s there due to everyone being in a relationship around. It’s easy hearing my best friend’s problems because it’s a two sided conversation with advice and encouragement. With my sister, you just have to listen to her even if you are having your own meltdown.