i’m so sick of never having anybody to talk to or be comforted by who i can be myself around without hiding all of my emotions. i know i told myself to never allow myself to talk to anybody about my problems in order to not use them for venting or anything but fuck it’s so hard… all i want to do is cry from how alone i feel and all day i’m just distracting myself waiting for a little burst of energy to make me feel happy which rarely ever happens. (i have adhd so it’s hard for me to focus on one thing to keep myself distracted and that’s where the energy burst comes from) i’m running out of things and i have nothing to occupy myself with or make me smile. it’s the same thing over and over and i’m so sick of it. i know i can’t kill myself because i don’t have the guts or really the will to… as many people say, i don’t want to die, i just want things to stop feeling the way they are. i’m just another random person on this site who vents to strangers thag sometimes offer comforting talk. it’s not like i really mean anything to anyone… nobody would really care if i died. i have a few friends but it’s not like i can’t be replaced, i’m nothing special. i don’t want to leave them or anyone else but it’s all just so difficult. i want it to stop, i want it all to just fucking stop.
It is a great step to just be here and vent, no matter who sees it. I’m speaking for myself, and most likely others on here. We enjoy taking the time to be here, sharing our issues, how we deal with them, and helping others here too. I do believe people on here do care and genuinely want to talk and help when they can as well. Same for your friends. They wouldn’t want to see you hurt. I understand the depression personally and even been through some self harm. My wife and daughter keep my going and there’s been times that I’m not sure if I’d be alive if I didn’t have that.